14: The Truth
I clutched my ticket in my hand, sweat on my palm.
“Nervous?” Chris asked as he pulled into the school’s parking lot. It was around seven thirty so we were “fashionably late.” How embarrassing would it be if we were the first people there and we had to wait?
I nodded a little but then shook my head. “Naw,” I replied as I bit on my index fingernail.
He parked, killed the engine, and hopped out. He came over to open my door and I did my best to get out the car without my dress riding up my thighs. I wobbled a little in the heels a bit but Chris held onto me as we walked to the entrance. I should’ve practiced walking in these shoes a little before I left.
When we entered, the gymnasium was dim lit with glitter and cameras everywhere. The hard gym tile was replaced with red carpet. I heard the loud music even before we entered. I handed a junior my ticket and she gave Chris and I a stamp on our hand to enter.
I clutched his hand tighter, praying I hadn’t made a mistake.
“Sure you’re not nervous?” he smirked a little as he looked around the gym. The Hollywood sign the art club made hung high over the deejay booth.
“Positive,” I replied weakly.
“We dont have to be here.” He said reassuringly.
I held his hand tighter and realized I was almost as tall as him in these shoes. Chris was six foot something and I was face to face with him. I usually only came up to his chest. It was nice to not be on my tippy toes for once. As I began to feel pride in my new found height, Chris leaned over and began to whisper in my ear.
“I wanna make a promise, ok? Since we’re now an official, legitimate couple I want us to have at least one slow dance together.”
That was romantic. I know slow dancing was something Chris wouldnt like. Jinsu and I never really danced together. Since Chris was my boyfriend now it would be kind of appropriate for us to have our first dance.
“You promise?” I put my pinkie up and he looped his around it.
We held our pinkies there for a minute. He leaned it and filled the space between us. Chris’s warm lips met mine sweetly and I wanted to hold him there forever.
He broke it off and pecked my lips once more.
“But you have to promise me something.”
“Have fun, ok?”
I nodded and kissed him again.
By eight thirty, at least eight or nine girls came up to me asked if I was dating Chris. Of course, I nodded my head “yes” and I received some dirty looks. Jealousy is an ugly shade. I didn’t have any shame in dating someone who had a bad reputation. I didn’t give a fuck if they thought I was slutty with my low neck line dress or stilletos and my outrageous amount of leg showing. I could care less if they thought I was still a virgin. To be perfectly honest, no one’s opinion except mine and Chris’s mattered anymore.
I saw Jinsu’s a few times as well. He was standing as far away as possible from the football team, on the other side of the gym, trying to avoid them. It’s never happened to me but I know it must be really embarrassing and awkward to be on the same team as the guy who stole your girl. And the fact that the whole team probably knew too made it even worse on Jinsu. He was smart to exclude himself. Jinsu had friends on the team but maybe he just wanted to be alone.
Karrueche was there, of course. She wore a white mini that had no back and looked two sizes too small. Her makeup and hair looked nice. I felt kinda bad when I saw she didn’t have a corsage on her wrist and I did. Her dress matched it perfectly.
I mostly saw her sitting at her table, alone, watching her friends as they danced and laughed and enjoyed themselves. She joined them a few times but sat back down when she couldn’t hold in her tears anymore. Guilt washed over me.
And to top thing off on our awkwardness, Mrs. Tran was chaperoning. Icing on the fucking cake.
I sighed as I sat back down from the dance floor. It had been an hour since we arrived at all I had done was danced. The deejay played some really good songs for grinding which I was thankful for considering I couldn’t dance for my life. Grinding seemed like the most simplest thing to do.
“I’ll be right back, ok?” Chris whispered in my ear and kissed the lobe.
“OK,” I giggled and he nipped at it. I laughed more as he traipsed off, probably to go see his teammates, who looked pretty handsome as well.
Sitting there and twiddling my thumbs, I tried to find ways to keep myself from looking like I didn’t have a date. I had gotten two messages when I checked my phone. One from my mother, reminding me to be home by twelve and the other…
I opened it.
U look pretty
From: Jinsu, 7:45 pm
I read it over a few more times before responding.
Yu look quite handsome yurself…do yu hate me?
To: Jinsu, 8:38pm
It took him a while to respond.
I credited him for still showing up. I wouldn’t have the balls to show up after the events that took place this afternoon. Especially with rumors and people pointing fingers and gossiping.
i culd never hate u. Do u hate me?
From: Jinsu, 8:41pm
no, have fun :) 3
To: Jinsu 8:41pm
Just as I began to look up, I was greeted with two, big, brown, innocent eyes.
“You look nice,” Karrueche said, politely as she looked me over in surprise.
“Thanks. Same to you.”
She nodded and looked down. “Mind if I sit?” she pointed to the chair adjacent to me.
I shook my head. “Go ahead.”
She sat at faced me. “You’re here with him, aren’t you?” she asked, her eyes saddening by the second.
I knew exactly who him was. I nodded.
“Are you guys like an actual, like, couple now?” she pouted her pink lips.
Her eyes shut in terror and she rose up. I got goosebumps when she turned away in pain, holding in tears. I wanted to pat her on the back and say “dont cry, he’s just a boy” or “theres plenty of other fish in the sea.” But I didnt cus that’d make me look like a sarcastic bitch and she’d hate me even more.
“Well, um…have fun, ok?” was the last thing she said before rushing off, holding her mouth.
What Jinsu did to me this afternoon, I don’t call that being dumped considering I told him that I chose Chris.
Now what Chris had done to Karrueche, that shit is straight up dumped. Abandoned. Left overs for another.
Chris came up behind me and kissed my neck but I pulled away.
“Talking to Karrueche?”
“Yup, and I feel like shit.” I confessed.
“Dont. It’s an act.” He rolled his eyes and extended his hand.
I took his hand and he led me to the dance floor, where the music was the loudest and went the hardest.
“I dont think she’s acting, Chris. I think she’s really hurt. Those looked like real tears.”
“Yeah, right. As real as reality TV.” He growled.
It’s a bit way back but “Dont Matter” by Akon began to play. Chris twirled me to have my back pressed against his chest. I smiled as he buried his face and kissed the tender skin there. I put my arm on his right cheek to hold him close. We rocked slowly back and forth.
I hummed along with the lyrics and Chris did, too. The song fit too perfectly.
Chris’s hands roamed on my bare thighs and it tickled.
“What I say about you wearing clothes?” he growled into my ear.
“You never wanna see me in them again.” I remembered.
“That’s right but this dress…I’ll accept,” he replied with a huge smiled as we rocked more. I grinded a little hard on his lap and he responded with his arms wrapping securely around my waist. My eyes closed and I let the song drift into my thoughts.
Tonight was perfect. No fighting. No pain. No one mattered to me right now but Chris. I was still in shock about how just a few months ago, I despised the man I was letting touch me this way. Did I change him? Had he really changed? Had I, Gia Hernandez, changed the promiscuous Chris Brown into the one-women Chris Brown? Did I have the power in me to change a boy’s complete way of living? Did I change his opinion on sex? Love? Why did he love me? Of all people. Was I woman enough for him? Him man enough for me? Was it possible that all these years of knowing him, all those years living next door, all those laughs and tears were a sign? A sign that my true prince charming was right under my nose? Would we go beyond high school sweethearts? Soul mates, even?
Or was I dreaming?
Was this thing with Chris and I a one time fling and we wouldn’t even make it through the summer? Was I delusional? Did I belong with someone as rebellious, wild, edgy, bad boy as the gorgeous Chris Brown? In a way he reminded me of a Greaser. All cool, slick, really bad ass. And I was his tuff, no shit bitch who was always on his hip, with him through whatever, whenever.
Like Bonnie and Clyde. Adam and Eve. Romeo and Juliet. Tarzan and Jane. Jay and Beyonce…
OK, I think you get it.
Sighing happily, Chris kissed my neck again. “You smell good.”
“Thanks, you too.”
The song came to a close and Chris twirled me to face him. We were eye to eye.
“Dont ever change, Gia Hernandez.” he whispered, blissfully and gazed over me with accepting and excited eyes.
“As long as you dont.” I promised him.
He kissed me quickly and twirled me again. I laughed this time and worried about the dress ripping. The fit was snug but tight around the ass.
“Keep twirling me like that and the dress will rip.” I warned him with a playful growl as he squezed my hand tighter.
“That doesn’t sound like such a bad thing,” he teased. “Hey, I’m gonna go to the bathroom, k?”
“‘K,” The word flew off my mouth with a sweetness you could lick off of honeycomb. I’ll bet a thousand kisses that my cheeks were redder than my dress and getting redder as the seconds passed. Chris kissed my cheek and was gone.
I ran a hand through my hair and checked the time.
While Chris was in the bathroom I danced some more with a few girls that were in my math class. After that song ended, I sat at Chris and I’s table and tried to cool off. This dress was not for dancing the way I was just now, the hem was creeping up my thigh.
I put my hair in the hair tie and fanned myself.
“You look like your having fun,” a deep, familiar voice behind me said. I turned and saw his huge, white smile.
“Hey, Jinsu.” I said to him as if he were a friend I borrowed notes from instead of my ex boyfriend.
“Jeez, you look so beautiful.” he said in wonder. He bit his lip and looked me over a little longer than necessary.
“Thanks, nice suit.” I complimented awkwardly. His grin was from ear to ear.
“Ugh, mind if we talk?”
I did mind, a little. Chris was gonna be back soon.
“Tell me about your night. How’s it going so far?”
I got giddy again when he asked me that. I went on a ramble and rant about how wonderfully amazing and supercalifragalistic my night was going. I told him about how I was nervous but now I was better because of the awkward tension.
Then that’s when I was cut off by the force of lips onto mine. A tongue penetrated my lips and wormed around at free will. Using as much force as possible, I pushed the tongue and its owner out of me, then wiped the excess saliva that dripped from his mouth.
“What the hell are you doing?” I shouted, shocked and confused, over the loud music.
He smirked a little. “Come on, GiGi, dont be like that.” Jinsu tried to cup my face in his hands but I pulled away, the resistance was easy.
“C’mon, Gia, you want me back, dontchu?” he was saying. For a second I thought he was wasted.
“Dont touch me, Jinsu. Just go before-” I began to warn him.
“Before what? Your boyfriend comes back? Scared, Gia? I always knew you were the type to crap out when youre reaching the finish line. You’d rather leave with trash than make it work with treasure. Did things get too serious between us for you to handle? Is that why you turned into some crazy, little whore who can’t keep her legs closed? A whore who probably opens her legs more to get fucked than to take a piss? That’s fine, Gia. Run back to your little man-child. I dont give a shit anymore. Go ahead and be his hoe, you worthless cunt!”
“What!” Jinsu turned and within seconds, his whole body was flung to the ground and Chris was atop of him, throwing punch after punch.
My eyes widened in shock and just as quickly as the fight started, there were other students surrounding them, cheering their stupidity on.
Jinsu flipped around and socked Chris back. Right back in the nose. Blood squirted off and I backed away in horror.
The two boys scrambled around on each other, wrestling for dominance and power. I covered my mouth in shock but then removed my hand to scream at them.
“Stop it! Now! Get off of him! Stop hitting each other!” I yelled over and over but I was drowned out by the music that was still going and the cheering of my peers going “Chris! Chris!” or “Jinsu! Jinsu!”
Seeing the two of them fight was like watching two wolves fighting over who was the Alpha. They were fighting for different reasons, both those reasons connecting back to me.
“That’s enough!” Our principal, Mrs. Hale, came through the crowd to the center where Jinsu and Chris were dripping with each others blood and covered in bruises that would kill them in the morning.
She stepped into the circle and through them off each other, both of them crawling to get back into the fight. Once separated, Mijo held Jinsu by his shoulders to keep from killing Chris and Tyga held Chris to keep him from lunging at Jinsu. The music had stopped and the only sound was of Mrs. Hale’s demands for an explanation.
“What the hell is going on here!” she screamed, obviously pissed.
Neither said anything so she asked again. Still there was silence as the two angry boys stared each other down. I caught a glimpse of Karrueche on the other side of the circle.
“If someone doesn’t speak up, I’m ending this prom right now,” She threatened with a hard voice and grit teeth. I knew she meant it too.
Jinsu looked to me then Mrs. Hale. “I was attacked.” he said simply and that got a laugh out of everybody but me, Mrs. Hale and Chris. He eyed him with hate and fury in his black-ish eyes.
She turned to Chris. “Is this true, Chris?”
He looked to me, his hard features softening. Then he switched back to Mrs. Hale. “I can’t just stand by while he’s tonguing my girlfriend as if it’s nothing. He had his turn. She’s mine.”
“Like hell she is!” Jinsu shouted at him.
“You wouldn’t know what to do with her anyway, you little pussy!” Chris yelled and that set everyone off. There were laughs all around. I even saw Mrs. Hale bit her lip to keep from giggling.
“Damn, Brown’s got jokes,” someone behind me snickered.
Before Mrs. Hale could make her next statement, Karrueche was suddenly in the middle, facing Chris.
“This is all about her?” she asked in disbelief, pointing at me. “Why the hell do you put yourself in these fucked situations? I told you to stay away from her and because you didn’t listen, look at where you are now! I’m only trying to look after you! I can only imagine who else you’ve been with. You’ve got a thing for nasty, little sluts, dontchu?” she screamed angrily at him and he retaliated in a way that made the whole room stop.
“Like your mother.”
My own heart stopped when he said that. My jaw dropped along with everybody else’s.
Karrueche looked at him with fire in her veins and poison in her stare. “Excuse me? My mother-“
“-is a disgusting, cheating, lying little milf who gave me a blow job for an A.”
“What the fuck are you-“
“I fucked your mom, Karrueche. I had her bent over, screaming for me. We kept it from you cus we didnt wanna hurt you. I’m sorry you had to find out this way, ok? But frankly, I just dont give a fuck anymore.”
They were snickers and whispering in the crowd as Karrueche whirled her head around, searching for her mother. She found her on the other side of the circle of people, backing away.
“Mommy?” she called out in a quiet, little girl’s voice that cracked as she spoke. Everyone looked in Mrs. Tran’s direction with judgmental eyes. I didn’t. I just stood there, still in shock, eying Chris as if he were crazy.
Mrs. Tran didnt say anything but looked at Karrueche with apologetic eyes and Chris with daggers. Jinsu looked at Karrueche with sympathy. Mrs. Hale looked at Mrs. Tran with anger and what looked like envy.
“Lisa? Is this true?”
Mrs. Tran looked at Mrs. Hale with a pensive look.
Mrs. Hale pointed at Chris, Jinsu, and Mrs. Tran and growled at them, “My office now.”
Mijo and Tyga released their grips on the boys and the three of them followed Mrs. Hale to her office.
When they were all gone, all eyes were on me.
Well, this is exactly what I wanted right? I wanted to show them how fun I was. I wanted all eyes on me. I wanted the attention. I wanted to be voted as prom queen with Chris as my king.
But now all I wanted to do was go home. Be alone. Curl up in my bed and cry like a child.
So I began to walk.
13: Me or Him
Chris seemed sympathetic towards the situation. He didn’t say anything discouraging like “it was bound to happen sometime” or “oh well.”
I sighed and prepared to take a shower. I didn’t wanna smell like sex and Chris when I went to Jinsu’s to apologize.
“Will you stay till I come back?” I asked as I climbed out of bed.
He didn’t hesitate. “You sure you don’t want me to come with you? I don’t want you to drive while you’re vulnerable.”
“Jinsu’s house isnt that far. I’ll be back in like twenty minutes.”
“A lot can happen in twenty minutes, Gigi.”
I got into his lap and kissed him hard on his lips. “If I’m gonna be rejected, I wanna do it alone. He’s probably freaking out. I have to see him before he does something to hurt himself.”
He kissed me back.
“This isn’t your fault, ok?” he tried to comfort me. I rolled my eyes.
“Yes, it is.”
He didnt respond so I got out of his lap and made my way to the bathroom to reluctantly wash him off of me.
The water burned my skin and I didn’t even flinch. The only thing I could think about how amazing my night was and how terrible this morning would be. Tonight was prom, too. Jinsu had it bad for me. He must be really embarrassed.
After I turned the water off, I brushed my teeth and brushed out my hair. Wrapped in my towel, I snuck into my mother’s room.
She was fast asleep, her head buried into the pillow, snoring. I opened her medicine cabinet and took one pill from the box. I rushed out and used tap water to flush the pill down my system.
“Good luck,” he snorted when I finished getting dressed.
I ignored his sarcasm and left for Jinsu’s, thinking the whole car ride over about how much heartbreak I had caused.
His mom answered the door.
“Oh, Gia! Hi, sweetie!” she embraced me and shook me up a little.
“Hey, Ms. Lopez. Is, um…Jin home?” I asked her when she let me go.
“Yes, of course. Go right up and see him.” She gestured me inside and I smiled politely as I passed her.
Ms. Lopez was always a nice woman. She seemed to like me but I highly doubt she would after today. Jinsu was a complete momma’s boy ever since his dad left.
Jin’s bedroom was at the end of the hall upstairs. He usually had pictures of us on his bedroom door but all that was there was white paint and rips of paper. The floor in front of his door was covered with torn and ripped up pictures of mostly me and some of him. I inhaled nervously and knocked.
“Mom, I already told you I’m not-” he began when the door swumg open but stopped short when he saw me. Before I could speak, I no longer saw his face but the white of his door.
I rolled my eyes. “Real mature, Jin.” I hissed.
“What do you want?” he replied nastily.
“I wanted to talk three days ago.”
I gave him that one. “True, but please just open the door.”
“Why? Im just gonna end up slamming it in your face again.”
I wanted to kick the door down. But I didn’t have the nerve or leg power to do so. So I begin to beg.
“Jinsu…” No answer. A pout began to form across my face.
“JinJin?” I used the old nickname I had for him. I haven’t called him that since we were juniors. After a few moments of silence, I heard him sigh and he unlocked the door. He opened it and groaned.
When I entered, his room was a mess. Usually I could see Jinsu’s floor but right now I was afraid I was gonna step on something valuable.
“So…” He extended the word out.
“I came here to-” I began but he put his finger over my mouth.
“Did he slip you something?”
“What?” I asked him and looked at him as if he were crazy.
“Did he drug you?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No…”
He pulled his finger away and closed his eyes. His fist tightened, his knuckles getting whiter. “You guys fucked…”
“And you did it willingly?”
I nodded again, ashamed.
He was doing his best to keep breaking down. The hurt I saw last night was deep in his eyes. I cringed inside knowing I caused that pain. He looked sick.
“Why do I have the feeling this isn’t the first time you guys have done this?”
I didn’t answer.
“He took your virginity, didn’t he?” He asked and sat on his bed.
“Jin-” I tried to apologize.
“I knew it! All this time, I knew something was up! I didn’t wanna believe it but…” he trailed off, head in his hands.
“I’m sorry, Jin. But if you wanna blame someone, blame me. None of this is Chris’ fault.”
“To hell with Chris. I’ve had it with Brown! He acts like he owns the fucking world! He did this just to irk me, I swear he did!”
That last statement struck me by surprise. “So you’re saying Chris only came onto me cus I was your girlfriend? Are you saying I couldnt have gotten Chris any other way?”
“I’m saying that this is probably just a scheme to take me away from you. I know him well enough,” he growled and had fiery in his brown eyes.
“You dont know him at all,” I protested. He looked at me as if I were crazy. Which I probably was.
“He’s not playing a game, Jinsu. From your point of view, it was just a fuck. But Chris does actually have feelings for me. He asked me to prom. He dumped Karrueche for me, for Christ’s sake! None of this is about you! I know I should’ve broken up with you first before I let it get to here but I just couldn’t, ok? I love you, Jin. I didn’t want to let you go or hurt you. I’m really sorry it’s just that…” I couldn’t finish.
He was silent for a minute. He stepped closer and closer to me. I was backed into the wall and his hot breath was invading my senses. He put his index finger through a belt loop and sighed.
His voice was low as he spoke. “I would’ve done anything to just be inside you. I wanted us to experience it…together. I wanted us to feel each other. I wanted to make you scream my name.”
”He could have any girl his little heart desired. Why did he have to take you?” he was mumbling. His voice was muffled as if he would begin to cry. His hand crept lower. I didn’t resist as he undid the button and zipper.
It felt so unfamiliar when Jinsu did this. His hands were newer than Chris’. I felt pure and holy with Jin.
He put in another and pumped me hard. I squirmed under him and my core was beginning to set fire in my pussy and legs. My hands found my breast and I squeezed them from under my shirt.
“Jin…” I wanted to stop before it got too far. Let’s see how backwards it is. I felt like a cheater when Jinsu did it but I was perfectly fine when Chris did it.
He took his hands out of me and watched as I struggled to button up my jeans again.
I just stood there, face to the ground.
“Gia, I love you. I had so many plans for us. Prom, marriage, kids…” his voice trailed as he sat back down on his bed. I cringed at the thought of spending the rest of my life with him.
“Do you love me, Gia?”
“Of course I do.”
He stared at me for a minute. “Do you love Chris?”
With every fiber of my being. I’ll love him till the world ends and it’s Judgement Day. I’d go to the grave being in love with Chris Brown.
I bit my lip and he took my silence as a yes. He sighed unsatisfied. I recognized the hurt and betrayal in his dark eyes. I felt terrible. He got up, went over to his nightstand, took something out and turned to me. He handed me a rectangular piece of paper with flashy colors and glitter on it.
A prom ticket.
“I bought two for us to go together.”
I was speechless. Jinsu began to speak again.
“You know what you call a girl who cheats on her boyfriend with his football teammate? A whore.”
My eyes widened. “I’m not a whore!” I screamed at him.
He smirked a little. “Judging by your actions, I think otherwise.”
That’s when I truly exploded.
“I love Chris like there’s no tomorrow! I wanna be with him till I’m dead and the world burns over. I wanna marry him and give him babies. Don’t call me a whore because he got to places with me where you couldn’t! Don’t you ever look down on him again! Or me! He wanted to stop because he saw you in my doorway! If you wanna blame someone, Jinsu, blame me! I let him take my virginity. I knew what I was doing, ok? But I didn’t do it out of lust cus Jinsu Lopez, I am not a whore!”
I was keeping my cool before. I refused to let Jinsu call me a whore when I had only had sex with one person and I was actually in love with him.
He looked at me with shock. I’d never yelled at him like that before.
“It’s me or him.”
I looked up at him in disbelief. “What?”
“I’m not gonna be here crying over you anymore. It’s me or him.”
Jinsu was always the sweet kind. Any other boy would dump me right on the spot. But Jinsu liked to hold on to what could’ve been.
When finally made it home, I walked sluggishly up to my bedroom hoping Chris was still there.
As promised he was, spread across my bed, watching TV. He didn’t look too focused on what he was watching. He jerked up when he saw me.
“Hey…um, how’d it go?” he asked.
The hot tears burned my eyes as they threatened to escape. I sniffled and he got up from my bed.
“Well, ugh…he dumped me.” My voice cracked and Chris exhaled.
Before a single tear could leave my eye I rushed into his arms and he took me in, acceptingly. I didn’t wanna cry so hard-I didn’t even know I’d cry so hard-but the tears kept coming one after the other.
He laid back down, turned off the TV and kissed my head. “Im sorry, G.”
“I gave him three years of my-” the rest was muffled and mumbled and I buried my face deeper into Chris’ chest.
“I know, I know. I’m sorry. Just let it all out. Don’t hold back.” he was saying as he rubbed me more.
Jinsu had been my rock for all this time and now that he didn’t want anything to do with me left me kinda broken and mad. I don’t regret what I said to him cus I meant it. I only wish I had done the smart thing and broke up with Jinsu before it got to the point where he walked in and saw with his own eyes. I wouldn’t wish that on anybody. Not even Karrueche.
Why didn’t I do what Chris did and just leave Jinsu like he did Karrueche? He seemed more stable and okay with us breaking up than I expected him to be. I expected him in tears and agony but he seemed to be kind of fine when he cut me off.
I wiped away all the tears and used his shirt to dry my face. I lifted my head and looked at him.
“Tonight’s prom. We’re gonna go together, hand in hand. I dont give a fuck anymore, Chris. Im tired of hiding us…” I kissed his cheek.
He hesitated them smiled. “You sure?”
“Yup,” I nodded wildly. He kissed me hard on my lips and his sweet breath invaded my nose.
“That’s my girl…” he nipped my lip and kissed me again.
My mother had tons of little mini skirts in her closet that could be passed off as dresses.
She didn’t really wear any of them anymore. I asked her over the phone if I could take a look at them.
I opened her walk in closet and searched. Chris was out renting a last minute tux so I wanted to surprise him with something hot. Something exciting. I didn’t want to bore him some skirt and tank top I pulled out of my drawer. The theme for our prom was “Hollywood.” I didn’t like it considering I hated anything that had to do with pop culture. I stayed out of the media’s way.
“Hollywood, hollywood…” I kept mumbling as I searched around my mother’s closet. I really hoped I found a dress that would show how much fun of a girl I could be. At school I was probably known as little Virgin Mary.
Just when I was about to give up and leave, something caught my eye.
I turned and saw bright red material hanging on the wall. I stepped closer to it, reached out and felt the fine material.
“Silk,” I noted and took the dress off the hanger, then compared the red of the dress to my caramel colored skin. It was gorgeous.
I strip down to my underwear and bra and tried the dress on. It was a pin up girl type dress with a low neck line. It stopped down at mid thigh. I did a swirl in it and bent over making sure it truly fit. This dress made my curves around my hips and waist more noticeable, my breasts filled out the bust perfectly and it was tight enough to show off my ass. A grin formed across my face. I might as well been naked.
I’d seen tons of older movies with pin up girls in them. With some cat eye makeup, red lipstick, tall shoes, and some curls, I’d look Hollywood perfect.
I took the dress off and relaxed. Jinsu kept finding his way back into my mind. I tried to shake him but with no luck, I began to cry again. I had shed so many tears I didn’t realize that it was nearing six o’ clock. The prom would be starting in about an hour.
There was lots of work to be done.
I gave myself a foot bath and pedicure when I found a shade of red in my mother’s medicine cabinet. The toe spacers between my toes tickled as I looked around my own closet for some heels. My sweet, peep toe, black pair of Stilletos stuck out to me were perfect. I remember my mother bought them for me to as a graduation present last year. I only wore them once. I set them by the dress that was slung neatly on my bed.
My mom had showed me how to work the curling iron once but I wasn’t really paying much attention. I really wished I had cus I almost burned myself trying to curl it the way a pin up girl would. I failed terribly so I swept my long, black hair to one side of my neck and prayed I could find a pin or something to hold it there.
When my mother came home she asked if she wanted my help. I declined believing I could do this by myself. I burned myself a few times. She did my makeup for me just how I liked it. Cat eyes with the dark red lips.
“You look beautiful,” she was saying as she put her favorite pair of pearl earrings in for me. I hated earrings but these were quite pretty, actually. Sofia also put curlers in my hair so the curls were fresh by the time Chris came to pick me up.
I slid into the dress with ease and my mommy zipped it up for me. I did a look over in the mirror and sighed.
“You really do look beautiful, ya know.” She said as I sat on my bed. I shook my head in disbelief. I looked like same old Gia to me. Night was here and the sky was navy. My hands shook as I reached for my shoes. Was I…nervous? Over something as simple as prom?
“Jinsu’s a lucky guy,” she added as she rubbed my shoulder.
“Im not going with Jinsu.” I told her and she looked back at me confused.
“We broke up this afternoon.” I didn’t go into detail.
My mom looked crushed. Jinsu was my mother’s absolute favorite person ever. He was nice, polite, a real gentlemen. My mother was gonna have quite the bitch fit when she found out Chris was my date. Not only did the students know of Chris’ reputation but so did parents all around LA. I prayed Chris didn’t mess up when he got here.
I heard the doorbell and jumped. Adrenaline ran all through my veins as my mother went to answer it. Curlers were hanging lazily in my hair and I scrambled to get them all out. My hair was more waved then it was curled and I was perfectly fine with that. I swept it all to one side, put in the pin, slid on my shoes and grabbed my clutch that contained a tampon (just in case) a hair tie (in case my hair got too crazy), condoms, my cell phone and my house key.
I got cold feet as I heard the door open, a greeting exchanged between my mother and Chris, and my heart thumping fast. I looked in the mirror once more, sprayed some perfume and switched out the light.
Here I was…going to prom. Not with Jinsu Lopez but Chris Brown…the boy of my dreams.
The steps I had to take towards the stairs were slow and precious to me. I didn’t wanna rush and seem anxious. I stopped when I got to the top of the stairs.
My mother turned to look up at me and Chris followed.
“Jesus, Gia,” he whispered to himself when I began to walk down the steps. For once in my life, I felt like a princess. I felt a gorgeous glow all around me as they stared at me. I prayed to not fall.
He looked quite handsome himself. He had cut his hair and shaved some. His tux was black with the bow tie and everything. I’d never seen him so handsome. He cleaned up good. In his hands he held a plastic box with a flower in it. The corsage.
I blushed as he stared at me in awe. He took my hand and pulled my close.
“You look gorgeous.” He whispered into my ear.
“Same to you.”
He opened the plastic case, took the corsage out and handed the case to my mother who watched suspiciously but happily. I could see she was excited for me even though Chris wasnt the ideal son-in-law.
“You didn’t have to get me a corsage.” I told him as he slipped it on my wrist. A white rose.
“Yeah, I did. If I’m gonna do this I wanna do this right.” He kissed my cheek and I burned almost as red as my dress. My mom had pulled the camera out of the kitchen drawer and took a pic of us just like that. My mom liked candid pictures more than any kind of picture. After taking a few more, I insisted we leave. I was somewhat really excited. Excited to show everyone how much fun I, Gia Hernandez was. I kissed my mommy goodbye, promised to be home by midnight, and set out to show off my new found confidence.
12: It Wasn’t A Dream
I hadn’t talked to Jinsu in three days. He was still a tad pissed about the whole prom mess but I didn’t care too much. Instead of being concerned about prom I was more focused on college. I had my money saved up, thank God. Another reason I shouldn’t go to prom. I wasnt gonna blow my whole entire savings on some dress I would only wear for one night.
Finals were done for the most part and prom was only a week away. I heard around school that Chris was Karrueche’s date. That pissed me the fuck off. I didn’t let him know that as we filled out college applications.
After writing my name on the Name line for the umpteenth time, I put my pen down and examined him as he laid his tall body out on my bed.
I thought about some of the greatest times we’ve had together and it made a huge, cheesy smile on my face form. I poked him with my finger like he did with me sometimes. His eyes didn’t tear away from his paper but he flashed me a white grin.
“What school you looking at?”
He lifted the clipboard and I read the name. “Compton?”
He nodded and went back to filling out the sheet. “Yup.”
“Why Compton?” I wondered.
“I want a sports scholarship. The last game of the year determines whether I’ll get one or not.”
I was truly impressed. Mostly because he said “scholarship,” and “determines” in the right context but also because he was aiming so high. A scholarship. Chris Brown get a scholarship?
“Wow, well I’ll be there cheering you on, ok?” I promised and he nodded with a grin.
We kept up small talk as we filled out each application. It was nearing around seven o’ clock, the time Chris usually left to eat dinner with his dad and come back over a half-hour later.
As he got up to leave, I kissed him goodbye. He promised to be right back and I nodded ok.
About five minutes after he left, I felt something vibrate through my bed covers. My head jerked up as my eyes shot to Chris’s backpack at the head of the bed. Must’ve been his cell phone. I ignored it…till it buzzed again.
I couldn’t help but reach my hand inside his bag. I knew damn well it was wrong to read his messages but I was just a little curious. I wasn’t hurting anybody.
I opened the first message.
Hey, where r u? Ur not with her r u?
From: Kae at 7:08pm
I only grimaced.
Had Karrueche gotten inside of Chris’ mind as well? Did she turn into some psycho bitch on him too and tell him to stay away from me? Some girlfriend he’s got. The second one was a picture file. I opened it and the minute I did I regretted everything I had done in the last 24 hours. I hit myself upside the head and cursed. Mrs. Tran must’ve been grading papers at home and Karreuche must’ve seen mine. Fuck my life…
When I opened the file, I expected to see some sext of Kae but instead my eyes widened in shock as I looked down on a photo of the doodles I drew in science.
“Wat the fuck is this?” The text caption read under the picture.
I forgot about the fact that this was Chris’ phone and I pressed the “reply” button. My fingers flitted across the keyboard.
Idk…never seen that b4 in my life.
I pressed “send.” Focusing on my applications was out of the question now. The phone buzzed a few seconds later.
Didn’t I tell u to stay away from her?
From: Kae 7:11pm
I put the phone down.
Not only did Jin and the rest of the team suspect something but so did Karrueche. I began to shake a little.
I fought back a tear or two and started pressing buttons again.
We’re just friends…calm down.
I turned his phone off.
I couldn’t take much anymore.
I had gotten so low that I was texting his girlfriend, behind his back.
And you know what the shady part is? I had every opportunity to tell Kae the truth. The truth about me and Chris. Chris and her mom.
My fingers shook as I pressed them to my forehead. I was sweating now.
Every logical, smart part of me was saying to be with Jinsu. Love Jinsu. Marry Jinsu. Do everything for Jinsu.
But every adventurous, exciting part of me was saying be with Chris. Love Chris. Adore Chris. Cherish Chris.
I wiped away a tear knowing I’d have to give up one thing and lose the other. Who knew that just some time ago I hated him? But now…I loved him. I loved Chris. I love Chris.
But I followed my brain. Not my heart.
After placing his phone back in his bag, I stared blankly at the application and tapped the pen against the clipboard. This was gonna hurt him more than it was gonna hurt me. It took three years to feel the way I do about Jinsu. I couldn’t ruin that cus I had some fling with Chris. I wanted Jin. Jin was…the one I wanted.
I sighed dismissively as my bedroom door knob turned. The doorknob clicked and Chris strode in with a huge grin on his face and his hands behind his back.
Before I could tell him my decision, I got too distracted as to what was behind him. I returned the smiled and cocked my head in confusion. “What?”
He didn’t speak as he took two long strides to my bed. He had a smile of pure evil. I loved it.
“Chris what are you-” I began.
“Close your eyes.” He instructed in a low, husky voice. Wetness flushed all over me. I loved it when he told me what to do. I did as told.
He ran a hand through my hair and kissed my forehead. “Open your mouth.” His breath hit my face and I couldn’t help but let out a moan that described every feeling I’d ever have for him. The hate. The love. The lust.
My jaw hung open for anything. I expected to taste his dick in there because he knew I’d allow it.
But instead, I tasted a sweet flavor. A sweet, very fattening, guilty pleasure, thick, delicious, taste bud tingling, flavor. I opened my eyes.
I was face to face with Chris who had his finger in my mouth and his forehead to mine. I suck the icing from his finger. He swallowed and tried to hide his excitement.
“How’d you know I liked chocolate icing?” I asked him. He exhaled with a laugh and sheepish grin. He blushed red.
“Who doesnt like chocolate icing?” he teased as he dipped his finger in the tub of icing and took a lick of his own. He did it slow and looked me in the eyes as he did. I groaned and had the sudden urge to hump the fuck out of him. He set the treat on my nightstand.
“Romeo doesn’t. Neither does my mom.” I answered his rhetorical question. It was true. I was the only one in the Hernandez house who enjoyed chocolate icing. He smugly kissed my forehead again.
“Where is your mom?”
I honestly didnt know. “Who knows?”
He kissed my neck. “Where’s Rome?”
“At a friend’s house.”
He didn’t speak for a while as his tongue explored my neck and collarbone. The feel of his wet tongue on my skin made my nerves jump. I loved the slithery feel. It made me literally tingle in pleasure. “Great,” he whispered.
I reached for his shirt but he stopped my hands with his own.
“Go to prom with me.” he said simply.
I blushed and shook my head. “You’re going with Karrueche.” I reminded him and looked to the floor. His face twisted in confusion.
“Karrueche?” he sounded disgusted. “Im not taking Karrueche to prom.”
My ears perked and my head lifted to look at him. “B-but I thought that-” I began to stutter tentatively. My cheeks grew hot.
He began to chuckle. “Gia, I broke up with Karrueche yesterday.”
I tried not to think about her and her delusions. “Yesterday? Then why was-“
“She’s been spreading a rumor we’re still together…I know.” he rolled his eyes, inflamed. It didn’t make any sense.
“She texted you while you were gone.”
He didnt look surprised. He just eyed me and cocked a brow. “No way,” he chimed sardonically. I kept my giggle in best I could. “It’s always the same with Karrueche.” And he left it at that.
“Why did you break up with her?” I wondered. I was just about to tell him I couldn’t be with him this way and he up and dumps his girlfriend. Don’t I feel like a bag of shit?
He flashed a proud smile and eyed me up and down. “Why have Karrueche when I can have you?” he hummed in my ear. “You’re perfect, Gia.”
I had to stop him there. “Im not..perfect.” I struggled to say the word so gracefully. Jinsu was perfection. He was the king of perfection.
He saw through my insecurities and put a lock of hair behind my ear. I shivered under his sudden touch and got reassuring goose bumps all over my arms and legs.
“G, you may not be perfect but youre pretty damn close,” he touched my hair again. I touched his back.
Silence took over as I looked into his huge orbs. They were hard and tough on the outside. But once you get your head close enough, you see something in his hard and tough eyes. You didn’t just the external blackness when you looked into them. You saw…reason for living. Cheesy, I know but one glance and I knew.
“Dontcha think that breaking up with Karrueche could leave you in a shitty spot with Mrs. Tran?” I asked him and waited for an honest answer.
“Well, yeah. I guess. She already hates my guts as it is. Now that I broke up with her little angel…my grade is going down hill. No scholarship for me.” He kinda smiled but I saw it was phony.
“Don’t think like that. She’s not allowed to fail students just cus she doesnt like them.” I reassured him. He kissed my forehead.
“I cant even imagine what I’d do without you…” he whispered to more himself than to me. “Gia, I love you.”
Then I decided I couldn’t take much more. I broke down starting with a croak.
“Chris, I cant-“
“Can’t? Can’t what?” he asked calmly.
The words were caught in my throat. They just sat there, clogging my breathing and making me lose sight of the real world.
“G?” he asked a little nervous now.
“Jin asked me to prom and…I’m thinking about going with him.” I worked the words out slowly, trying not to sound too anxious.
I watched his face as it went from nervous to confused.
“Do what?” he acted as if he hadn’t heard me.
“This…us…I know you broke up with Karrueche but it’s still not fair to her. She truly did love you. She lost her damn mind a little but ya know…” I trailed off.
He went from confused to a tad upset. “Karrueche was with me for attention. She’s at the height of her popularity when she’s with me. Now where is she? At the bottom of the food chain. She’s not even ‘Karrueche’ anymore. She’s just ‘that girl who dated Chris Brown.’
I ignored him and his nasty attitude. “I have a boyfriend, Chris. He loves me. I love him and we-“
Chris sprang up and his heat went with him. My body chilled and I jumped as his huge fist made contact with my wall. He backed away from the wall and there was a dent. I gasped.
“Chris, listen-” I began, a little bit afraid.
“I told you I loved you and you’re going back to…him?” he growled a little and his eyes went dark.
“I never left him.” I corrected him.
He shook his head in disbelief. “You’ve been toying with my feelings all this time?”
We stared at each other for a few minutes.
I honestly couldn’t even respond to him. My mouth was open, ready to answer. But no words came out.
“No one told you to fall in love.” I murmured.
He clenched his fist. “You’re the first girl I’ve ever opened up to. You’re the first real girl who I’ve ever had true feelings for. Excuse the hell outta me for feeling something more than just lust. I didn’t know that loving someone could hurt so much,” he whined the last part sarcastically.
“Why can’t you just admit it?”
“Gia, it’s okay to say you love me. I wont-“
“How can I love someone like you?” I wondered more to myself than him. “Have you seen yourself? You are the shadiest person Ive ever met. What kind of boy-“
“Gia, that’s the past! I’ve changed all that! I haven’t been fucking anybody but you. I broke up with Karrueche cus I wanted to be with you! I told you I love you!”
“Chris, Jin is-“
He put his hand up. “Jinsu.” he growled his name with fury. “You feel something for me, G. I know you do!”
“Chris, it’s not like that. I love you but-“
“But what? You wanna marry this kid, huh?”
“No, Gia. It doesn’t work like that. You love me, Gia! Why would you be with him when everyday is a struggle not to call him by my name! I took your virginity! You opened up your legs for me! One day, you’ll see that the underdog was on top and that you made a big mistake.”
“I know what I want, Chris! And I want Jinsu!” I shouted at him, a little unsure of what I was saying.
“Bullshit, Hernandez! I know you better than you know yourself; you’re not the type to love and leave. I’m more to you.”
Chris had heard enough. He pushed passed me with a force that made me lose my balance. He caught me, twirled me around and his breath was on my face, furious and vicious.
“Don’t you ever look down on me again. Next time you think of Jinsu just remember I’m the one who made you walk with a waddle.” His growl was loud as he spoke and I could only stand there, scared of what I had done to him.
He let go of my arm and was out the window with the wind. I stood there and watched as he left. Stupidly, I whispered his name, as if he could hear me. I shut my eyes to keep the hot tears in. How could he say such hurtful things?
As I sat on my bed, I heard his car start up and vroom away. The engine was loud. He was going fast.
I rolled my body over to look at the ceiling and tried to recap what had just happened. My taste buds tingled for more chocolate icing so I reached over and grabbed the tub.
Using my finger only, I finished the whole thing.
It was hours later till I could fall asleep.
I didn’t cry much. I just laid there, reviewing all the things Chris had said.
“You love me!”
I didn’t deny it.
Sighing heavily, I turned on my side and stared at the empty tub that once held icing in it. It was nearing 2am.
A chill brushed up my neck and I shivered. My teeth chattered a little so I pulled the covers over me some more. I got distracted from the time to look up at the wall Chris had punched. The dent was not as big as I thought.
A shadow moved on the wall and my hands froze. An intruder?
I forgot I left my window open so I shut my eyes and hoped I was dreaming. The window was being shut gently. The shadow was man-ish and my heart restarted when I heard a husky voice whisper, “Gia? Gigi, you awake?”
I rolled my eyes. “Go away.”
He scoffed. “Don’t be like that.”
He switched the light on and sat near my feet. “Gia, listen-“
I sat up and pointed my finger at him, ferociously. “No, you listen! Every time you mess up, you think you can fix it by just coming in through my window and charming your way back into my good graces! Not everything can be resolved with a nice, hard fuck, ok?” I grunted in an unladylike way and he looked at me shocked.
“I didn’t come here to fuck. I wanted to apologize. I went to…Chris’ Happy Place and I knew I said some pretty fucked up things, ok?”
“That makes two of us…now leave.” I grimaced and he only sneered.
“Just lemme finish. G, Im sorry. I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’m sorry I punched the wall. I didn’t mean to scare you-“
“You? Scare me? Please.” I rolled my eyes, knowing he had had scared me.
He only sighed, knowing he wasnt getting anywhere with his apology. “Fine. Ill just leave you to cool off then. Bye, G.” He got up to leave but I grabbed his arm.
“Wait,um…dont leave. I said, fearful of being alone.
He looked down at me in confusion then he grinned sheepishly. “You want me to stay?”
I let his arm go and scoffed trying not to sound too needy. I nodded.
Chris sat back down on my bed and touched my hand softly. “Gia,” he exhaled. “I’m so sorry.” I wasn’t even close to forgiving him.
But something told me to. I leaned towards him and our lips met.
They were soft and delicious as I nipped at them. He kissed like an angel.
My hand ran though his soft curls and he rubbed my lower back. I gave into his light touch easily.
He started where he always did.
Chris’ moist lips invaded my neck with sweet, tender pecks and nips. A smile crept upon my face before I shut my eyes.
As he descended to my chest, the kisses got heavier. Wetter.
His tough fingers roamed over the hem of my shirt as he straddled me. His expression went from wondering to angry as his hands flew to the collar of my V-neck. Within seconds, he had ripped the clothing off of my body. I moaned as my bare chest was revealed to his accepting eyes. I arched my back to him and he ran his hands over my breast.
“Goddamn, Gia. I never wanna see you with clothes on again. Cus I swear to God, I’ll rip the clothing right off your body.”
I let out another desperate, needy moan. My nipples were hard as ever and now Chris was just teasing me. He nipped lightly then bite down with more force. I went insane with wetness.
His kisses grew more sensitive as his hand reached down for my underwear. His fingers explored through my wetness.
He watched carefully as my face changed. The first finger was always the best. It gave hope and promise for more penetration to come. I wanted to come.
I whined in happiness and he took my cries of joy as an indicator to enter a second finger. I squeezed the sheets in pleasure. “Chris…” I moaned, breathlessly.
“I wanna hear a scream, Hernandez.” he was saying.
I couldnt even produce a proper English sentence as he put his fingers deeper into my soaked twat. I growled in almost anger, remembering what he said earlier. I could just hate him for saying something so conceited!
But my body rejected the hatred I wish I felt for him.
“Gia,” he moaned as he went deeper, my hips grinding automatically to the rhythm his fingers had going. The build up of my first orgasm burst out of my vaginal walls. I half screamed and Chris, who had his eyes closed, threw his head back and smirked.
“Music to my fucking ears.” He flashed me the smile of a jackass. I loved it.
He slid his fingers out of my pussy and looked at his two fingers sheepishly.
I returned the smile devilishly.
He slowly licked his index finger of my juices. “Taste sweet,” he noted. I took his middle finger into my mouth, tasting myself. He got hard all over again and grunted in the back of his throat.
“Here I am, bearing all and your pants are still on.” I said sweetly, batting my eye lashes at him. I lifted myself up on my knees and he got to his feet.
“Maybe we should get rid of this shirt,” I joked as my fingers ran over his collar and just as he did mine, I found unknown strength to rip it from his body. He bit his lip and blushed.
I began to kiss his chest the same way he did mine. Soft and tender. As I got lower towards his hardness, he put his hands in my hair to guide me to the right spot.
Using as much roughness as possible, I yanked his pajama pants right off his legs. I was still amazed by his size.
“On your knees. Now,” he commanded. I did as I was told and without being told, I began to suck.
He gave me reassuring moans as I worked on him. I remembered the first time I had done this. I was so nervous. Kinda shy. Now I had a huge smile on my face, dripping wetness onto my own bedroom floor.
“Jesus, Gigi-” he swallowed his words and I looked up as I took in more inches. His head was thrown back like before.
“Enjoying yourself?” I asked as I stroke him.
“Don’t fucking tease me…” he was pleading. After two more strokes, I entered him back into my hot, drooling mouth.
I licked the head of his dick, taking in almost a mouthful of pre-cum. He whined once more before gathering himself. I didnt even bother to wipe my mouth as his taste lingered in my mouth.
He stepped out of his pants completely and approached me. I climbed onto the bed and laid down on my back, legs separated.
His rough hands wrapped around my waist and he yanked me towards his hips. He yanked my underwear and sweatpants off together. I was soaked.
“All for you. Do you love me enough to have brought a condom?” I kinda mocked him.
He kissed my neck and sucked on my earlobe. “Honestly I didn’t think I’d be forgiven so easily. I didn’t think to bring one. “
My face fell. Well there goes my night.
He continued to talk. “But I might’ve snuck a few into your drawer last time.”
I lit up again as he reached over me, opened my nightstand drawer and grabbed a condom. He ripped the plastic wrapper off with his teeth and pulled the condom out. He lifted himself, slid the latex onto himself and when he heard the snap his eyes met mine.
I wrapped my arms around his neck to bring him down to my level. I opened my legs up for him and the moment I did, he entered me and the real moans began.
“Ohhh,” I started softly, closing my eyes.
“I wanna make you fucking scream.” he muttered as he picked up his pace to a speed that caused enough friction to make my legs quiver in pleasure.
He took hold of my waist with a stronger grip this time, his hip thrusting into mine causing me to fist the bed sheets.
“Harder,” I begged through light gasp. He knew I wasn’t too proud to beg so he did as commanded.
His hands roamed over my breasts and he pinched my nipples, hard. Blood rushed to my head and I was gone. Over the edge. On Cloud 9. My toes curled and I reminisced back to the day I saw Chris pounding Mrs. Tran and her toes curled. This feeling was like that times ten.
“Chris…Ohh…fuck-” I bit my bottom lip and needed to claw at something. He pounded harder and towered me, groaning louder than I was. As he thrust himself into me faster, our bodies got tighter and I reached up to touch his sweating face. The heat was almost impossible and when Chris hit the sweet spot, I whined and squealed as I hit my second orgasm of the night.
“Ohh, Chris…f-f-fuck…” I legs shook and squeezed my left tit.
He came down to may face, balancing his weight on his hands on both sides of my head. Chris grin was wide as was mine.
I looked down at our joined bodies and I remembered how cautious Chris was when he took my virginity. We were both slick with sweat.
“You like my big dick, Gia?” he teased as I began to grind on his boner.
“It’s not how big. It’s how mean.” I told him as I eyed my favorite Rihanna poster with pride. Chris took that as a challenge.
“Oh, really?” he growled. He rammed himself into me mercilessly and I had nothing to hold onto but myself as I howled in ecstasy. He seemed satisfied as he pulled himself out of me. He used his huge arms to flip my body around.
“You want mean? I’ll show you mean.”
I giggled like a school girl as I propped myself on my hands and knees. Before I knew it, he was in me, pounding harder than before. His muscles wrapped around my hips, keeping me close. I looked back at him and his mouth was half open, looking down at my helpless vagina being beaten by his huge member. He was pumping as hard as he could, the heated contact sending tingles all through my tight, yearning pussy. I held onto the headboard of my bed and squeezed my tit even harder.
“Oh, fuck! Chris, fuck me!” I cried out, almost losing myself.
He grunted and slapped his hand hard against my right ass cheek. I yelled out in satisfaction. Chris reached over and kissed my shoulder. He lifted me up with one hand and continued to punish me. He made his way to where he was hitting it the hardest and rubbed my clit hard.
“Scream for me, Gia. Come on.” He kissed my shoulder again. “Please come. Cum all over my dick.” he was begging now. I lifted my arms to wrap them around his neck. My nails dug deep into his back and he cried out as well.
Suddenly, his pace slowed but I wasn’t even close to coming.
“Dont stop. Please…” I whined with the taste of need in my mouth.
“Gia, wait.” his husky voice was strained.
“No,” I declined, not listening to him.
I believe I was so close to the edge, I saw vivid images flash across my mind. I saw a confused Jinsu. Then I saw a hurt Jinsu. Lastly I saw an angry Jinsu. All three disgusted me so I only went down harder on Chris’s dick trying to make them go away.
“Gia, I-” he said through grit teeth.
Chris sighed and brought me closer to his chest, his huge hands covering my own as we both gripped my flopping tits.
“Come on, Gia. Scream for me. I wanna hear you scream my fucking name! I want you to explode on my dick!”
I threw my head back over his shoulder and he did his final smashing till my pussy and his dick exploded on each other, taking our bodies to the oblivion.
“Ahh, fuck Chris!” I screamed. “Oh my God! Chris…” my wetness overflowed along with his hot semen that was trickling from his dick into my filthy, tight pussy.
He groaned viciously and his body went slack. I did a few last grinds before I laid down on my side, Chris still inside me. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my shoulder again.
He rested his forehead on my shoulder and I felt his hot breath on my back.
“I love you,” he whispered softly.
The sweat of our bodies covered each other and I brushed a stray lock of hair out of my face.
“I love you,” I exhaled, absolutely positive of what I was saying.
He pulled out in between my thighs and pulled the condom off. “Shit,” he murmured.
“What is it?” I asked, smiling like an idiot. He put before me a piece of busted latex with thick white semen all over it. The condom had broken.
I didn’t freak the way the old Gia would have. I simply took it from him, tossed it to the side and kissed him softly.
He stared at me confused so I just nibbled on his ear. “Dont worry about it, stud.” I whispered naughtily. Chris eyed me in disbelief.
“Just trust me.” I reassured him, thinking about the Plan B One-Step my mom had stashed in her medicine cabinet.
Chris, unsure, wrapped me up in his arms and I gazed up at the white crescent moon. He kissed my cheek.
“I just want you to know that if Jinsu were to ever hurt you…”his voice trailed off.
“Yes?” I said for him to finish.
“If Jinsu were to ever hurt you just know that I love you and Ill always be here, ok?”
I arched my brow in confusion but I shrugged anyway. “Um, ok. Thanks. I love you, too Chris.”
With a kiss on his nose, I dozed off with pleasant thoughts on my mind.
When I awoke, my body was still in a good mood.
The first thing I saw was Chris, sitting up and chewing on his thumbnail. When I opened my eyes completely, he grinned.
“Morning, beautiful.” he said, stroking my face.
I rolled my eyes and thought otherwise. “Morning,” I said back and kissed his cheek.
“How’d you sleep?” he asked lovingly.
My dreams came flashing back to me and I remembered the wonderful night we shared last night.
“I had a strange dream.”
He rubbed my back and hesitated. “Tell me.”
I sat up and blushed like I had a fever.
“Well while we were making love…I saw Jinsu. Like he walked in, saw us and he looked so…perplexed. Then he looked hurt. Like he had been stabbed or betrayed. Then he looked…mad. So mad. Like he could just explode. I looked at him and he only got angrier by the second. And the fucked up part of it is, we didn’t even have the power to stop. And then he left. The dream was over.”
I reminisced the dream that seemed so colorful and real, it was unbelievable. Chris looked worried and concerned.
He sighed nervously and took my hands in his own.
“Um, Gia about that…”
He looked at me pathetically and kinda frowned. “Um, Gia…that wasnt a dream.”
“What?” I questioned him.
“Last night, while we were making love Jinsu did walk in. He saw us. He looked at us and he did look hurt. I tried to stop but I just couldn’t. You looked straight at him and you just…” he didnt finish that last statement. “Gia, Im really sorry.” he finished.
11: Guilt, Confrontations, & Prom
As much as I burned for there to be an us, my mind always jerked back to Jinsu. I loved him, I really did but whenever Chris came around I felt…different. Like a new girl. I usually didn’t like change but being a different girl seemed like a nice thought.
Jinsu had given me some of the best years of my life. Did I really wanna give those years up cus of Chris?
No, I didnt.
Jinsu was my everything and this whole arrangement wasnt fair to him. Jin has been getting played. Ever since me and Chris’ first kiss. Jinsu was my boyfriend, not Chris. I had to wake up and realize that. The sooner I did, the better.
But Chris was so…
I couldn’t even describe it.
I loved being with him. His whole presence was such a rush for me. His smile, his touch…I even found his matted looking, surprisingly soft curls a blessing.
But did I love him like I did Jinsu. Chris opened my eyes to some interesting things but did I wanna die for him? Would I get up every morning and make him breakfast? Was he marriage material?
Jin was. Most definitely. I’d die for him. I’d get up in the morning to make him breakfast.
Maybe my little fling with Chris was just butterflies I haven’t felt in a while with Jinsu. Maybe Chris was my teenage release of hormones and confused, mixed feelings and emotions. Maybe Chris was just…a crush?
“Chris,” I started. He closed his eyes and felt my breath on his face.
I sighed, knowing I was about to break his heart.
But I couldn’t.
I could see the tears rolling down his cheeks already.
After swallowing, I exhaled. “Nothing,” I said.
“Yes. Absolutely nothing.”
He took my naked body into his arms to cuddle and I couldn’t help but hold back tears of guilt. I made sure this time he couldn’t hear me.
When I looked to my right this morning, I expected there to be an empty space with messy sheets. I expected there to be a note saying he had to run off to practice.
My heart stopped mid-beat when I saw him there, eyes on me and an adoring smile on his face.
“‘Morning,” he greeted.
I arched my eyebrows in confusion. “Shouldn’t you be at practice?”
He nodded but still made no attempt to get dressed. Why would he stay?
“You stayed,” I announced. He nodded again.
He shrugged. “Cus I’d much rather be here with the beautiful Gia Hernandez than running around a field with a bunch of hormonal, sweaty football players.”
I chuckled. “I don’t wanna get you in trouble.”
He shrugged again. “Each player on the team is allowed to miss two practices. I’m fine.”
I smiled at the thought of Chris missing a practice on purpose just to hang out with me. I loved the thought actually but I had to go to the practice anyway.
“Well, the thought was nice but you still gotta go,” I told him as I climbed out of bed.
“Why?” he asked.
I picked up my clothes and threw them in the hamper. “I maybe fucking you, but I still have a boyfriend.” I informed him.
He rolled his eyes. “Just skip this practice. He won’t mind,” he was whining now. He didn’t even move from his place on my bed.
“I promised him I’d come to every practice. That’s what girlfriends do.”
He pouted for a minute ‘till I gathered all my stuff to take a shower.
“Why are you with him?” he asked nastily. I stopped and gave him a deadly look. He sat back a little and rolled his eyes in envy.
“Dont go there. Not today, Chris,” I warned him as I began to throw him his clothes from off my carpet.
“If not today then when?”
“I dont know. Just…not now,” I wished he would just drop the subject. I don’t know why I wanted to be with Jinsu. I just did. I loved him.
“Gia, I-” he started and his voice was softer.
“Drop it,” I said viciously.
He tried to speak again. “G, it’s just that-“
“Shut up.” I groaned in the back of my throat and it almost sounded like a growl. He was quiet after that. I apologized and told him to get ready for practice. He did so reluctantly and we drove to school with an awkward silence between us.
Chris and I were the talk of practice. We showed up, hand in hand but I quickly snatched my hand back before Jinsu or Karrueche could sight us.
I waved to Chris before I ran up behind Jinsu, who was drinking Gatorade on the bleachers. He looked sullen and bored. I giggled lightly to myself as I put my hands over his eyes. He froze and then he began grinning from ear to ear.
“Sweet Pea hand lotion…” he sniffed my hands. “Gia?” he mused. I plopped myself into his lap and he kissed my cheek.
“Hey, G.” he purred into my neck.
“How’s practice going?” I asked.
“Better since you’ve arrived.”
I mock-rolled my eyes at his cliche’ and he only grinned and kissed my cheek again. His eyes shot to Chris who was heading over to the field with his helmet in hand and jersey on Karrueche. I grimaced a little.
“What we’re you doing with him?” he asked grimly. Jinsu was hot when he was jealous.
“I just carpooled with him,” I said innocently. I also sucked his dick but ya know that’s just details.
He eyed him suspiciously then me. “Carpool,” he repeated. “That’s it?”
I leaned down and my lips tingled and buzzed as they met his. He tasted my cherry lip gloss and smirked.
“Cherry-” he nuzzled my nose. I kissed him again and he squeezed my side. “You’re so sexy.” he nuzzled my neck again.
“Hey, Lopez! Get in the game!” Chris yelled furiously and Jinsu smirked. He kissed my face again and I arose from atop him. I sat on the bench where he sat and I eyed Chris evilly as the team did another play. He shrugged with a smug smile on his face. I rolled my eyes.
After about fifteen minutes, I heard footsteps behind me. I turned and Karrueche was there, wearing Chris’ jersey with Bermuda shorts.
“Hey,” she said cheerfully. She sat neatly beside me and up close her glittery eye makeup was fading.
“Hi.” I said simply.
“So, you been hanging with Chris alot?” she asked nonchalantly.
“Hmm nice.” The wind picked up but our conversation didn’t. I felt like a nasty, little whore sitting next to her. I had great amounts of sympathy towards her too. She was being played as well as Jin. By me, Chris, and her mother. If she only knew. I just wanted to wrap my arms around her and hug her.
“You guys close?”
Nod. “Uh huh.”
“Really? That’s nice.”
After a few more minutes of just silence and watching our boys practice, I was growing kind of uncomfortable with her sitting next to me. Just last night her boyfriend was balls deep in me!
I opened my mouth to ask what she wanted but she got up and stood in front of me, blocking my view.
“Im glad that you and Chris are such close friends, but that’s gonna hafta change.”
The heat left my body and every thought I’d ever had about Kae disappeared. She stood before me, hands on her hips and whatever she said next determined whether I was a member of her pity party anymore.
“Excuse me?” I asked her politely.
“Did I stutter?” she asked and rolled her brown eyes. She flipped her long, bronze curls behind her shoulder and I wanted to snatch it up and rip it from her scalp.
“I like you, OK? Youre a sweet girl, really. I just dont want you around my boyfriend. It’s not a jealousy thing. I just…dont want him around you.”
“Why?” I questioned. It’s not like he likes her anyway.
“Well, I know he has some commitment issues in the past-“
Past being last night.
“-but he’s grown up. I know he wont give into temptation but-“
Then why is he banging me and not you?
“-he loves me. I know he does-“
That’s funny cus last time I checked he told me, not you, he loves me.
“So, if you could, I’d really appreciate it if you just avoided him. We’re gonna get married and have a family and…you dont fit into all that. Ok?”
I rolled my eyes at her little fantasy. She was just a ditz lost in the clouds, a virgin with her heart on her sleeve.
“We’re just friends.” I insisted.
She kinda giggled to herself and put a lock of hair behind her ear. I wonder how many hair flips she’d do before I ripped every strand from their roots.
“Monica and Chandler were just friends but they got married! And had babies!” she was smirking like crazy and I wanted to slap her for her stupid Friends reference. She continued. “Anyway, how do I know that for sure? Just friends? Sounds pretty raunchy to me, Gia.”
We stared each other down. I looked into her brown eyes and she looked into my darker brown ones. She was first to speak.
“Anyway, I dont hang around Jinsu like you do Chris. So I think it’s only fair that you back off of Chris.” she finished.
I stared up as her as if she were stupid. She was in a way. Young, dumb and completely blissful. Being too angry, I couldn’t even respond. She waited but I still continued to stare. Why should I hafta answer to her? She was just Karrueche.
She rolled her eyes and walked away. “Freak,” I heard her whisper under her breath.
“Bitch,” I whispered back.
Practice ended shortly afterwards and Jinsu took me in his arms and kissed me. “Want me to take you home? Or you wanna go someplace private?” He purred into my ear and I giggled.
Chris was close by and he eyed me with wondering eyes. Karrueche was speaking to him but he wasn’t even listening. I smirked and turned to Jin.
“I’m just gonna kick it at home, ok?” I pouted and bit his bottom lip. He took my lips into his mouth viciously and moaned. His hands roamed to my ass and I clawed at his back.
“Slut,” Karrueche mixed with a cough as she walked by, limply holding onto Chris’ huge hand. I locked eyes with Chris as I looked at the sad couple walking towards his car. He winked at me and I found a smile. I wasn’t as mad as I was before, especially since Jin was here to bring me back to reality.
Little Karrueche Tran better watch where she walks. She comes near me again and I’ll see to it that her and Chris never talk again.
3 weeks later
It was the nearing the end of May and everybody had prom fever. I was more into applying to every college in the state. And the sad part is I wasn’t exaggerating. While every girl went out to buy dresses and shoes, I was at home cramming hard for finals. I was perfectly happy with keeping my head in the books. I know prom is supposed to be the one night a year where a girl can express her true side. A side full of love, hate, beauty, angst, and maybe even lust. A side where you glow in your prettiest dress and finest makeup and prettiest hair and sweetest scents.
I preferred staying outside of all the glitz and the glam. Prom in my opinion was just another way of society to embarrass young girls with low self esteem and bad body perception. Young girls who have hearts floating around the dance floor. It was torture.
“Hey,” he bit his bottom lip seductively and poked my feet with his pink highlighter. I smiled and nudged him with my toe.
Even after three weeks, Chris and I couldn’t find it in each other to stop cheating. We hadn’t had sex since but we still kiss, and hold hands, and cuddle like we were a couple. I had denied Karrueche’s wishes of staying away from him. I couldn’t. How could I? He was an addiction.
I couldnt help it but I wanted Jinsu, too. I wanted to kiss him, hold him, love him and maybe one day marry him.
Until then, I wanted Chris. Always. Maybe forever?
“Hey, will you go to prom with me?” he asked out of the blue. He looked at me with questioning eyes and it caught me off guard. I wouldn’t go even if Jinsu asked me.
“No,” I answered him in a bored voice. He smiled and leaned forward. His lips met my ear and he nibbled. His tongue caressed my jaw and neck. It tickled sort of but I held my composure as he tinkered with the nerves and senses around my body.
“Please?” he whispered. I wanted to say yes and go with him just to piss Karrueche off. I would’ve if I didn’t have Jinsu who was likely to ask me to prom as well.
“No.” I repeated with a smile as he kissed lower to my collar bone.
“Why?” he asked between kisses.
“Cus I have a boyfriend and you have a girlfriend. Dontcha think it’s a red flag if we go together? Then everyone knows our little secret.” I teased him with a moan.
He groaned aloud and tugged my hair. My spine tingled and I let out a small squeak of pleasure as he kissed my neck again.
“Oh, they probably already know anyway.” he kid. I found that kinda funny.
“Please, Gia? Prom is a week away. Be my date please?” He was using a begging voice. I’ve never had a boy in such a happy mood for me. He continued to kiss my neck and collarbone and I was adoring the attention. He began to reach for my top and I only laughed.
“You gonna fuck me into going with you?” I wondered.
“I prefer the word ‘seduce’ but ‘fuck’ is good, too,” he moaned into my ear and I was ready to give in right then.
I climbed out of his lap and a poked him with a highlighter. “Work now, play later.”
He pouted but I pushed him back on my bed. He lay there, looking up at me with wide eyes but a smug smile. I placed myself atop of him and my hand crept into his shirt. I felt his muscles and shivered from excitement.
His own hands crept down my jeans and he squeezed my ass. I kissed his cheek and thanked God that there were no flies on the wall.
I rummaged through my locker trying to find the sweatshirt I left in here yesterday.
After throwing it over my shoulder, I looked into the mirror I had hung in the door. My eyes dropped a little and there were kinda dark circles under them. I whipped out my makeup bag and searched for my concealer and eye liner. I smeared it on with one finger and did my best to cover the dark circles. After doing the best I could with the concealer, I lightly applied the eye liner. It smudged a little but I ignored it. I shut my locker and when I turned, the hallway was empty.
Who knew as to why I was so tired? Maybe from last night?
Chris and I didn’t do anything last night. We just kinda held each other ‘till the sun came up. Chris never actually entered me.
We stayed up all night talking and I fell asleep with prom on my mind. He drove me to school where I met with Jinsu at the main entrance. He embraced me and well what do you know? He asked me to prom.
I told him I’d have an answer by the end of the day. It was 6th period now. I didn’t have much time.
I strode into class just as the bell rang and I hadn’t realized this was the period I had science. Mrs. Tran eyed me and grimaced. “Nice for you to join us, Miss Hernandez.”
I scoffed and slumped in my seat until class was over.
Mid-teaching, Mrs. Tran had to leave the classroom and in the time she was gone, I doodled my name and Chris’ in my notes. The heart was huge and animated with stars and flowers surrounding it. In the middle, I had drew in bubble letters Chris+Gia. When Mrs. Cullen came back she looked pissed and she told us to turn in our papers. I ripped the sheet from my notebook and turned it in. The bell rang for dismissal and I was beyond happy. I also didn’t wanna face Jinsu because I knew he’d want his answer.
“Hey beautiful,” Jin purred in my ear as I leaned against him on the bumper of his car.
“So…we going to prom or what?” he asked devilishly.
I smiled at him and before I answered, I looked around in search of Chris. He was sitting on the hood of his car, earphones in his ears and he was looking down at his notebook. I sighed and turned my attention back to Jin, who was waiting for a yes.
“You are but I’m not,” I told him honestly and opened the passenger door to his car. He followed me and shut the door in front of him. I glared at him, annoyed.
“Please?” He pleaded in a baby voice.
I pretended to think. “Hmm, no.”
He frowned. “Why not?”
I shrugged. “Why would I? Prom just isn’t…me. Can’t you just come over that night and we can just chill?”
“Gigi, prom is-“
“Prom doesn’t have to be some huge dance, Jin. Why can’t we just make a date at my house?”
He shook his head. He rolled his eyes and gaited towards his side of the car. He slammed the door and we drove in silence.
Why would Jinsu get so pissed about not going to prom?
10: Just Remember Us
“Can I see you tomorrow?” He asked as I shimmied into my skinnies. I nodded without even thinking. A smile was brought to his face as I buttoned my pants and looked around for my t-shirt.
I nodded. “That is if my mom doesnt eat my ass alive for skipping.”
He smirked and shook his head. “If you cant think of an excuse, just blame it all on me.”
That was bold. I looked at him, confused. He just shrugged and laid back down. I noticed he put his boxers on backwards.
“Just say it was all that kid, Chris Brown’s fault.”
“Chris, Im not gonna blame you.”
“Why? It was all my idea.”
“Yeah, but it wont seem right considering I could’ve said no.”
“But even if you do get in trouble, Gia, won’t it all be worth it? You had a good time today right?”
I nodded. “I can only imagine what’s planned for tomorrow.”
“I’ll think of something.”
My smile widened and I leaned in for a kiss. He met me halfway and planted a soft one on my lips. My fingers tightened around the material of my shirt as the kiss got more intense. He smiled into our lips and it tickled. I pulled away and was presented with his soft eyes. He held me in place for a minute.
“Stay,” he begged weakly.
“I gotta go,” I whispered back.
He frowned and rolled his eyes. “Promise you’ll be back?”
I thought. “How bout you come onto my turf?”
He nodded. “I just might take you up on that offer, Hernandez.”
I lifted myself from atop of him and put my shirt back on. On my turn to leave, Chris’ strong hand swiped across the right side of my ass and I jumped. When I turned his grin was wide and an involuntary giggle left my voice box.
“Bye, Chris.” I muttered and shut his door behind me.
Now that the fairytale was over, I was now about to step into a hell of a reality.
My sneakers squeaked as I tried to enter the house quietly.
I shut the door lightly but failed to go unheard when my mom came rushing down the stairs, a frantic look on her face. She sighed and had her arms around me in an instant.
“Gia, where were you today? I got a call from your school saying you didn’t come in. You wanna explain?” She demanded, hands on her hips. My brother strolled down the stairs with a huge grin on his smug little face. He liked seeing me in trouble. I rolled my eyes at him and he snickered. I stumbled around with my speech and tried to think of any possible excuse before blaming things on Chris.
“I, ugh..got sick right after you guys left. I tried to get to school but I guess I must’ve ate something..weird.” I manged and my mom seemed to believe it for she nodded her head in agreement.
“Really? Why are you all wet?” My brother chipped in and I felt the need to slap the little punk look off his face. I hadn’t realized my hair was still damp as were my clothes and shoes.
My mom turned to me for my expaination.
“I took a shower,” I snapped back at him and he looked away in disappointment. My mother crossed her arms and looked me over suspiciously.
“Well, you should’ve called Gia. I don’t want to believe you were skipping school,” she began to walk away but my brother spoke again.
“Where did you just come from then?”
I mentally cursed myself and was ready to pin him against a brick wall. My mom seemed curious as well.
“I was getting my homework from Chris.” I smiled slyly at him and he growled.
“But why didn’t-“
“I don’t have time to be interviewed,” I put my hand up to him and began to make my way up the stairs into my room. My mom shrugged and took in my story as if it were true. Romeo groaned and stomped away into the living room. I heard my mother laugh.
I plopped down on my bed and the springs and coils hit my back. I removed my clothes and bundled up in my bed for a warm spot. My window was wide open and it made me giggle frivolously.
Was I moving on?
Did one day with Chris compare to the three years I spent with Jinsu? Why didn’t I feel guilty anymore?
I was starting to think so.
I felt guilty about not feeling guilty but I was happy as hell.
I swear I could kiss her all day.
Her lips were so pink and plump and swollen from my kisses.
Her body had been brought alive and it wouldn’t take long till she became addicted. Addicted like me.
And that’s what I feared the most.
Never in a million years did I ever think that the little Gia I grew up with would turn into this feisty woman who I would one day deflower. I remember when we were younger, she would invite me out for bicycle rides and it would usually end up in her mouthing off to me or pushing me down. I had a crush on her.
I smiled at the memory and looked out my window.
Gia wasn’t in sight but I still grinned anyway knowing tomorrow was gonna be a good day.
My mind jerked out of it’s wonderland and I realized today was Friday. I had practice today. I had football practice everyday after school, including Saturdays.
It was nearing around four so my guess was that Couch had gone home already. Practice started a few minutes ago so I guess I could sneak in. Football wasn’t just a sport, it was my life. Even if I did skip school today, I was still going to practice.
I put my gear on and headed towards to the front door, ready to recieve shit about being absent.
“Well, well, fucking well. Look who decided to show up? So sick couldn’t come to school today, Brown?” Mijo teased as I entered the game in the middle of a play. Usually I would’ve rolled my eyes and gotten pissed but since I was in such a blissful mood, I just smiled and laughed along with him.
The guys made a bunch of jokes about how I actually wore my jersey this time. I let those jokes slide as well.
Finally after practice was over, more jokes were made in the locker room.
“Hey Chris decided to wear his shirt today!”
“Hey, Brown! Your nipples look a little erect to me!”
“Aww Chris, why so shirtless?”
I smiled at them all and ignored the hatorade. I didn’t care. Just as long as I had Gia all to myself tomorrow, I was content. As if one of them read my mind, Tyga mentioned her.
“Maybe he’s just strutting shirtless for his little girlfriend. Gee-ahh.” He sang out her name and Jinsu’s head jerked up.
He stayed silent as he listened to the rest of the team go on. I blushed.
“She’s not my girlfriend,” I said with a smirk. Jinsu continued to get dressed and I could tell he was trying to ignore us. Ty went on.
“Yeah right. You act like we don’t see how you look at her?” He was nearly shouting and I saw Jinsu’s jaw clench.
“Tyga,” I growled sternly. He shrugged.
“What? No need to get embarrassed. I doubt I’m the only one whose stolen a few looks at her,” his statement was backed up with nearly everyone on the team cheering in agreement. Jinsu was tying his shoes and doing his best to not say anything to him. Shouldn’t he? That was his girlfriend.
“I mean c’mon. She’s one of the rarest roses in this school of weeds. She’s smart, funny and she’s fucking cute as hell. What more can you ask for in a girl?”
I agreed as did the rest of the team.
“What I wouldn’t give to get with her,” Mijo mumbled.
“Definitely girlfriend material,” Shad added.
I took a glance at Jinsu as I readjusted my T-shirt. He was blushing hard and gathering his books together. I felt sympathy.
“But hey, Im only Tyga Stevenson. What would Gia Hernandez want with me?” He finished off sarcastically. Tyga couldnt be more full of himself. I rolled my eyes at his conceit.
“Absolutely nothing,” Jinsu finally said and the whole locker room burst with laughter. I couldnt help but chuckle as Jinsu left with a high chin and Ty with a sheepish grin.
I began to tie my shoes as well and was rushing now. I couldn’t wait to get home to see Gia.
I found myself looking out the window, waiting for Chris. I predicted he went off to practice so I figured I had time to shower, do my hair and find myself some cute pajamas that he’d like.
I never worked this hard for Jinsu. Simple jeans and a T-shirt.
But with Chris, I feel as if my makeup has to be perfect. My breath had to be minty even if I hadn’t eaten anything. My hair had to be in a certain style. He made me feel as if I had to just be in tact and flawless. I wanted to be…flawless for him. He deserved that.
Finally after rummaging around my drawers I ended up finding some tiny, blue Nike shorts and a white crop top. Ive never exposed so much skin but I felt as if I could. Ever since Chris had taken my virginity, my body felt as if it had been brought to life. Chris pushed all the right buttons and now I felt my arms, legs, back, neck, hands, feet, and everything else be reached to it’s potential. My newly straightened hair was perfect as I brushed it out and watched the window. My mind was racing hard as he pulled in. His stereo was blasting loud and my chest tightened in delight. I smiled.
I waved at him and a smile stretched across his face as he waved back.
“Come up.” I instructed. He nodded and he disappeared into his house. I fixed my bed and plopped down on it, landing in the sexiest position I could.
I sighed in happiness when I heard him knocking on the window. Skipping gaily over to the window, I saw that Chris hung in the tree next to the glass.
“Why didn’t you use the front door?” I asked as I unlocked the window.
“I thought this was hotter,” he grinned and he wormed in, being sure not to step on my desk.
“You thought right.”
He found that funny. His eyes grazed over my outfit in satisfaction. “Nice outfit,” he complimented as he wrapped his arms around my torso.
“You smell good,” he added.
“Thanks. I took a shower,” I informed him. He played with my hair.
“You straightened your hair.”
The easy conversation we were having seemed awkward. But as I looked into is huge, brown, knowing eyes, I knew we had a lot more to talk about. Until then, just standing here in his strong arms made words useless when our eyes said everything.
Chris stroked the small of my back as I watched the TV. I wasn’t paying much attention to what I was watching as his soft hands eased my spine. I loved the feel of it. Jinsu couldnt ignite this type of excitement in me. Chris sent fire through my veins when he touched me. My mind and heart was racing at a million an hour. He made me feel good in ways I couldnt explain. How did I go from such a pup like Jinsu to getting with a wolf like Chris?
“Enjoying your show?”
“Good,” he purred and pulled my body back into his.
I relaxed on his chest and sighed happily. He kissed my hair.
A commercial came on and he started kissing on my neck. I pushed him off playfully and ignored him.
He tried again and I scooched away just to be funny. My plan back fired when he had me by my waist and was trying to tickle me. I giggled hysterically.
Before I could let him remove my clothes, I pushed his arms away and he still found some way to kiss my cheek.
I sighed and he whispered into my ear. “I love you.”
I stopped and looked at him with my eyes wide and searching for assurance. He seemed totally sure of himself and even though he looked sure and ready, I knew that he was just saying he loved me. I knew Chris all too well.
And since I knew this, I still let him remove his clothes and mine.
I lay my head peacefully on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. Thump, thump, thump.
It matched my own.
I assumed he was fast asleep so as I lay there in my own nude shame. My vision blurred and my eyeballs stung as the hot tears escaped my eyelids. I wiped each tears away hurriedly and sniffled. I didn’t even wanna hear myself cry.
I sat up, careful not to disturb him. A few more tears fell before I had wiped them away with the back of my hand.
“G-Gia?” He stirred for a minute but I turned away from him. I didn’t want him to see me cry.
“G, what’s wrong?” he asked.
“S-sorry. I-I didnt mean t-to w-wake you…” I stuttered and sniffled as the tears poured harder.
He gripped my elbow and tried to pull me near him. I rejected his touch and tried to wiggle free. He wouldn’t have it.
“Why are you crying?” he demanded.
I didn’t answer. He squeezed my elbow and I tried to snatch myself free. “Why are you crying?” he asked again.
“Im not,” I insisted. He chuckled and eased his grip on my elbow.
“Gia, my sisters used to play that all the time. It’s plain to see you’re crying right now. Why are you crying,” he asked a last time.
I wiped a few more tears but it seemed as if my eyes wouldn’t stop leaking.
“I, just…Im-ugh, er…” I stammered.
“Ge-ah-” he whined. “What’s wrong?”
It took me a few minutes to get my answer out. This was kind of embarrassing.
“I’m just like them,” I sniffled.
“Those little sluts,” I finally said. His face twisted in confusion. He had no idea what I was talking about.
“G, what the hell are you-“
“Im just another lay in your big ol’ book of sluts!”
“Gia, what are-“
“I love you?” I quoted him. “Come on Chris, we both know you said that just to get me to take my clothes off. And guess what? It fucking worked! I’ve never been more humiliated in my life.”
“Gia, you’re not a-“
“Don’t even try and tell me I’m not. What would you call a girl who cheats on her boyfriend with a guy she claims to hate?”
He tried to find the right words for what I had just said. “Gia, the difference between you and all the other girls I’ve been with is that I actually care about you. Gia, Ive been with lots of girls but none of them have made me feel the way you do.”
“Chris-” I started but he stopped me.
“Just, shut up a minute!” He chuckled. “Youre the most…realest girl I’ve ever been with. You’re beauiful and funny and smart and every girl out there is all the same. Straight haired, two pounds, died blonde hair, American Eagle wearing, Facebook loving named Kaylee or Taylor. It’s nice to have someone who’s…different.”
“Im not…beautiful.” I disagreed.
“Bullshit. Do you know that nearly all the guys on the team think you’re pretty? And funny? Any of them would give anything to be your boyfriend. Or just to get you to look at them. They offer to give me rides home just to see you.”
His last comment struck me by surprise. I always thought his friends found me disgusting. The cheerleaders always flashed me dirty looks. Now I knew why. Their boyfriends all had crushes on me. That made me smile considering I was always thought of myself as an outcast.
“Gi, I know that saying I love you was a bit much, but-“
I waited. He wiped a stray tear from my eye.
“Im so close to falling head over heels.” He looked at me with gentle eyes and for good reasons, I believed him. Jin hasn’t even said something so sweet to me before. He has said “I love you” millions of times before but never has it sounded so…genuine. He kissed my cheek.
“Ya know what Gia? Fuck everybody else, ok? Just remember us, ok?”
I sighed and a grin crept across my face. “There’s an us?”
“Only if you want there to be one,” he answered sheepishly.
I did…I did want an…us.
9: Chris’ Happy Place
A hot shower and some clean clothes later, I was in Chris’ car. He kept his car unbelievably messy, whereas Jinsu keeps his nice and clean, having that new car smell. Chris’ engine was louder and rougher, whereas Jinsu’s was smooth.
“Where’r we going?” I asked, my mood lightening.
“What if we get caught? What if you get in trouble or-“
He rolled his eyes. “We won’t. Just relax.”
And I did as Chris played some easy rap as we rode together. It was a nice and sunny day without being too hot, a rarity. We had all four windows rolled down and the wind was lighter than yesterdays. I felt springtime coming with every ray of sun that hit my face. Chris distracted me with small talk and silly riddles as we took our half hour ride to wherever.
When he killed the engine, I stopped talking about whatever I was talking about and looked around.
I gasped when I saw what surrounded me.
Art covered the walls outside of the warehouse, all around me. There was a wide open, clear space where a few chairs stood. The vibrant colors danced all around me, amazing me for a moment. Water flowed in a small pond. There wasn’t a single flaw in sight as the different paintings told me stories. It was a huge space.
For a minute, I thought of Chris as Picasso and this was his canvas.
He had a contagious beam on his face and I felt as if I were being played. “Where are we?” I asked, mystified and amazed.
“It doesn’t have a name…but let’s just call it Chris’ Happy Place.”
I arched my eyebrow in wonder. “Wow, what an original title.”
He unlocked the doors and I hopped out. The grass didn’t crunch for its texture was just right. It seemed wet so I reminded myself not to sit on it.
The soreness of my inner thighs made me walk wobbly and it kinda hurt. Last night was so good but today it seemed as if every little muscle in my body was in a knot. I groaned as I stretched and when I tried to walk, I had to hold onto Chris’ shoulder. He seemed to notice and offered to carry me.
“Carry me where?” I asked. He laughed and took me up bridal style.
“It’s really pretty here. How did you ever find this place?”
He shrugged. “Freshman year. You remember the story from last night? Yeah, after I left her place, I was roaming around trying to find home and I stopped here. I blacked out here and the next morning I cried my eyes out. Ever since then I’ve been coming here to clear my head. Just to think, I guess.”
I stroke his ear as he spoke. “About football?”
“And other stuff. You should see this place at night. I bought special paint once that glows in the dark, it’s amazing.”
I took that as a subtle invitation. “How often do you come here?”
“Whenever I’m pissed or I just wanna think.”
“Have you brought anyone else here?”
I was his first time and now he was showing me his very own private place.
As my heart warmed, my nerves thawed out. I finally felt perfect with him. I know this was going to sound cheesy and fluffy but as he looked deeply into my eyes, every love I had ever had washed away like water. Chris’ deep brown eyes made me weak. He had barely done anything and already I was infatuated and obsessed with him.
The three years I had with Jinsu were nothing compared to the week I’ve had with Chris. That’s all it took. Three little kisses and I was already under his spell. He had barely done anything to make me feel this way. Was this the feeling Karrueche got with Chris? Or was this all my tingling body talking and not my mind?
He set me on the ground and I squirmed around. He backed away seductively and I bit my lip. He kept eye contact as I lifted myself up on my elbows and as he backed from me, he disappeared into the vines behind him. I arched my eyebrow and thought of where he could possibly be. I didn’t even hear a rustle in the bushes so I concluded he had just left. I listened closer until I heard a loud yell and Chris’ body was flung full force into the huge pond of water.
I gasped and covered my mouth in the weird way girls do when they’re shocked. I was immediately at the edge of the pool of water, waiting for him to surface.
Then out of nowhere, two huge arms grabbed me by my waist and pulled me under.
I held my breath as best as possible but when I saw Chris’ goofy expression under the water, I tried not to take in any water as I laughed. Like it was my second nature, I jumped of the freezing water as quickly as possible and sat on the edge, shivering. Chris was right behind me, his clothes drenched as were mine. His hair began to curl and he grinned widely, I pushed his face and he fell over, back into the chilling water.
To dry off, Chris decided to chase me around. His jungle was bigger than I thought because I ended up on a plain that was covered with vines and bushes. He came up behind me and with his force on my weight, we both toppled over. It was quite funny cus he landed on top of me and all I could do was laugh. He did too and some nerve in me made me kiss his cheek.
Shocked, his eyes widened and he looked down on me. With a great need and lust, I looked back up at him with a seductive and intriguing glare in my eye. He gave me a light hearted smirk.
And with every need for him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He kissed my neck.
Right here, in this moment I knew I was satisfied with where and who I was. Giggling like an idiot, he lifted me bridal style and placed me on dryer land.
It was nearing around one and school would be over in almost an hour.
I had spent my whole day with Jacob in his jungle and I didn’t mind a single minute of it. It wasn’t until I heard my stomach growl that I realized we’d have to leave soon.
His stomach grumbled as well and before he could even move, I tackled him back down to the grass. He laughed and I got over top of him, even with my thighs and core still aching a little.
“I don’t wanna leave. Not yet.”
“Oh c’mon Gigi. We gotta go or we’re gonna starve,” he said playfully.
“Why would I starve if I’ve got a hot piece of meat like you around?”
He bit his lip and arched his eyebrow. “Kinky.”
I laughed, removed myself from atop of Mt. Chris and he jumped up. He placed his arm around my shoulder and with that we were on our way back.
Chris was a badass at making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
I sat in his room and munched on the jelly covered crust as he watched and laughed in amusement.
“You’re just so-” He pondered for the right word.
“Dorky?” I wiped away some peanut butter that was lingering on my nose and licked it off my finger.
“I was gonna say cute. But dorky’s good, too.”
I playfully hit his shoulder. “Oh, shut up.”
He smiled. “I’m serious. You’re cuter than Karrueche.”
“She looks like a puppy,” I protested.
“Yeah, a mutt.” He rolled his eyes. I tried not to laugh but he was being serious.
“Why do you stay with Karrueche if you know you don’t want to?”
“Guilt,” he said simply. “How bad would it look if I dumped her knowing I had sex with her mother? For what? A stupid grade. I regret doing that. Kae doesn’t deserve it. Especially since I think I’m falling for someone else.” His eyes shot straight up at me and I looked away, with a red blush on my cheeks.
I leaned in closer and he blushed, too.
It was nearing three and I knew my mom would be home soon. I kissed him hard on the lips and he held me there.
“Please stay for a little while longer?” He requested and our foreheads met as our noses nudged.
“How much longer is a little while?” I teased.
He groaned. “Please, G?”
“I can’t get into anymore trouble then I am now.” I reasoned even though I didn’t wanna leave anymore than he wanted me to.
“You know you wanna stay.” he whispered into my ear. I straddled him as he sat in his desk chair. It ached but it was worth it as I began to grind on him forcefully. He put his hand on the down of my back and it made my spine tingle with lust.
“You want me?” I giggled like a little girl.
I put my finger in my mouth and bit on it. He groaned and picked me up by my waist. I was plopped down on the bed and I bounced.
I wanted to rip his shirt off and kiss him from his head to his toes.
“Oh, Im gonna punish you. Gia, Gia, Gia…my naughty little Gia.”
My toes curled.
“I’m not gonna show mercy this time,” he purred into my ear as he leaned over me.
“Oh, you were being nice last night?”
He smirked before planting a soft kiss on my neck and removing my jacket. The t-shirt I was wearing was still slightly damp and my nipples were erect. He saw them and began to creep his hands under my shirt. The feel of his fingers felt good on my heated skin as he removed the shirt and I felt the wetness of my underwear seep through my jeans.
“You’re wet,” he noted. I moaned as he undid my jeans and pulled them downward.
He removed his own jeans and before I even knew it, I was in the same place I was in last night.
“Even better a second time, right?” He whispered into my ear as my breathing eased.
I nodded and my hair laid limply on his muscled, sweaty arm.
My muscles relaxed as his hard breathing subsided. I knew I could stay like this forever.
I knew forever had to end but right now, I was too distracted to even remember how forever even started.
8: Don’t Hate Me In The Morning
Forget Mrs. Tran.
Chris was mine right now.
I didnt care anymore that I had a boyfriend and one of my conditions was for Chris to stay faithful to Karrueche. He was trouble, yes. But he was so tempting. I had to have him as my first and my own.
Chris had his lips to mine, with his waist in between my legs.
He came up for air and smiled down at me. “You know where kissing leads, right?”
I nodded and forced his lips back down to mine. He gave me a peck before pulling himself off of me. I grabbed back at him.
“Gia, I cant,” he said huskily.
I stopped, shocked and was prepared to scratch his eyes out. Dude…
“You just came over to kiss me and now you’re saying you cant?” I asked him, angry.
He nodded and turned his back to me. Involuntarily, my leg jerked forward and he grunted when he felt the hard blow.
“Ow! What the hell, Gia?”
“You make me sick, you know that?”
“You didnt have to kick me!”
I didnt even apologize. “Goodbye, Chris.” I said and began to gather my things together. Well, if I wasnt gonna get laid I might as well go home, right?
He stopped me by grabbing my hands and made me face him. “Gia, please dont leave.”
“Why should I stay?”
“‘Cus I love spending time with you.”
“Bullshit, Brown.” I said and wiggled free from him. He sighed and closed his bedroom door before I could reach it.
I scrunched my eyebrows. If I didnt know any better, Id think Chris had a crush on me. I dropped my bag to the floor and he exhaled.
“I just…wanted to…” he inched forward and I stayed perfectly still. “Kiss..you..”
I nodded in amazement as he snaked his arms around my waist. The way his hands were placed on my jean belt loops made me excited. Jinsu had done this hundred of times but Chris did things so forcefully and unruly. It was making me…wet? My legs were tempted to jump on him.
“Gia, I wish I could. But I cant…”
“You’ve got Jinsu for this.”
I snorted. ” I want you.”
He moaned as I somehow found myself rubbing his hardness. For a virgin, I was doing well.
“Gee-ah..” he moaned. “Your gonna make me-“
“Cum?” I whispered seductively into his ear and he let out a sharp moan into my ear.
He picked me up and threw me on the bed. I giggled at his excitement and he was kissing me by the time my brain could register what was going on.
As each kiss was planted, more clothing came off. And as each piece of clothing came off, I grew more and more nervous about the fact that I was about to lose my virginity. I didnt care that my virginity was going to be taken on some random Thursday on the unmade bed of the boy who I claimed to have hated. He knew what he was doing and as he kissed my collarbone, I left my virginity in his hands. I know when you first have sex, you have to do it with someone you love and trust but Chris was just so…
“Ohh,” I moaned as he unhooked my bra from behind me. I closed my eyes as he removed the bra itself and my breasts were exposed to him. Chris has seen tons of tits before and mine were just the same as any other girls. But when I opened my eyes, Chris was staring at them as if he’d never seen a pair before. My nipples were erect and it was teasing for him to just look at them.
He took a glance at me and took one in his hand and bit down.
I moaned aloud at the rough feel on such a tender and fragile part of me. It felt good. I knew this was nothing compared to what he was capable of. Chris’ tongue swirled around the erect nipple and bit it again.
“Save the moans for the real thing,” he whispered and went to the other nipple.
Chris had a way with his tongue. He teased me by playing around with my belly button and tummy and I loved every minute of it. Still slightly cautious of myself, I covered my tits with my hands as he undid his jeans. He smiled.
“Ever given someone a blowjob, Gia?” He asked.
I smiled as well as his hardness was released from his boxers. Ive never given anyone a blowjob and to be honest, it looked as if I could choke but right now, I wanted to please Chris. And besides, Ive seen enough porn to know how to.
Like every other slut Chris has had, I got on my knees in front of him and he looked down on me, unsure. “You sure you know what you’re doing?” He asked.
I rolled my eyes and took his dick in my hands. He gasped in pleasure. “Im a virgin, not a five year old.”
He chuckled a little and watched as I inserted his hardness into my mouth. He hissed in pleasure.
I sucked on it hard like I had seen the girls in porn do. It wasn’t as bad as I thought’d it be. In fact, he tasted kind of good. I took more of him in my mouth and he moaned loudly. He closed his eyes and threw his head back. “God, G,” he barely said and encouraged me on by pumping my face. He was so fucking huge! I seemed to be doing it right because he kept moaning as I took him in harder and tighter.
He pulled out of me and made me beg for it. If I had known that sucking a dick would be this fun, I wouldve done it to Jin.
“Damn, that’s good!” I declared and Chris only laughed. I blushed.
Chris’ expression got more serious as I did my final lick. He lifted me by my waist and set me on the bed. I heard him step out of his jean and belt. He removed his socks and now before me was a naked Chris. I shuttered as he reached for my own jeans. He undid them and pulled. He threw them aside. Was it too late to stop? He had already played with my tits and made me suck him, so my guess was yes. It is too late.
Chris looked at me from over top of me and held my underwear, ready to pull them off as well. I shuttered again then curled my toes out of fear and excitement. The socks were beginning to itch so I took each sock off with my big toes. I closed my eyes as my underwear began to descend. Chris stopped and I took a peak as to why.
“Gia, are you sure you want me to do this?”
“I dont wanna wait anymore,” I answered honestly and his eyebrows scrunched together in worry. Which each passing second, my heart beat faster. And I felt the goosebumps as well.
“G-” he began but I stopped him.
“Would you rather have some kid off the streets do this?” I asked him with a slightly impatient tone.
He shook his head. “No.”
I waited and exhaled. “Chris, you want me right?”
“Yes.” I felt a smile form on my face and a slight heat go through my skin.
“Then just please…dont make me wait anymore,” I was practically pleading. He came down to kiss me and when our lips met, I knew I wouldnt back out. Tonight was the night and who gave a fuck if it was with Chris Brown and not Jinsu? Who gave a fuck if it was on his raggedy bed and not planned? I didn’t.
He didn’t say anything else. He reached over into his nightstand and rustled around in its drawer.
A few seconds later, he pulled out a black piece of plastic with writing on it that was transparent on one side. A condom. I knew he wasn’t a complete idiot.
He opened it with his teeth and I watched as he pulled in on the way we had seen our teacher do it in health class. He put the wrapper on the night stand.
Chris’ warm eyes glanced over me with worry and fear. He had nothing to fear. I was human, just like him. I wasnt gonna break.
“G, you ready?” He whispered into my ear and leaned down on me more.
I nodded. “Yes,” my voice was shaky and my heart was going faster than Ive ever felt it go before.
He put his hands on my knees and separated my legs so that I was fully exposed to him. I looked away out of fear of his reaction. He had his hand on my chin, moving my face to meet his.
He kissed me once more before whispering, “Dont hate me in the morning, please.”
Chris placed himself at my entrance and before plunging, he looked to me for confirmation. I nodded then bit my lip.
He eased in very slowly and I sucked my teeth at the sudden penetration. “Ouch..” I moaned and grabbed his forearms. I was waiting for the pinch and at that moment, I looked to Chris who was staring back at me.
“Jesus, Chris. This kinda hurts.” I barely spoke.
“Just look at me.”
And I did.
The pinch was almost painless but I still squeezed his forearms. He grunted. “Jesus, Gia…you’re so tight.”
Chris knew how to make me feel good. The fit was tight but I didn’t care. I loved the feel as we rocked back and forth with each other, our heated bodies joined as one.
“Chris-topher,” I moaned as the pleasure kicked in.
He was silent for the most part except for the occasional moan of my name or was grinning and biting his lip hard the whole time which made me happy. I was glad he wasn’t disgusting with me the way he was with Mrs. Tran.
I wasn’t Mrs. Tran.
I wasn’t Karrueche.
He wasn’t Jinsu.
And I was perfectly fine with that.
I was brought so much joy as I heard the bed creaked and scratch against the wooden floor. Or when he would grip my breasts in a way to show he was having as much fun as me. Chris was gentle but in the same way he was also perfectly rough with the hair pulling and ass squeezing.
Climaxing was like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It was like my whole body was on vibrate and the only thing I could think of was Chris who had released quite a load.
I kissed him hard as I wrapped myself in his covers afterwards. I expected him to ask me to leave but he simply disposed of the condom and settled into bed with me. My body was too hot to be under the covers so I threw them off of me still thinking about the event that had happened that night. I was giddy as hell I wasn’t a virgin anymore.
Chris wrapped himself around me and kissed my ear. “How do you feel?”
I waited till I answered. “Hot.”
He chuckled into my ear and sighed. “Oh, God. I love you, Gi.”
My heart went on lock down as his last statement echoed in my head. “What?” I asked to make sure I heard him correctly.
He released me and sat up. “Um, what I mean when I say that is, ugh…err..I, um,” Chris stammered and I could only feel bad for him. I knew how it felt to say something you didnt mean and then have to try and cover it.
“I mean, I don’t love you. I mean I do but not in that kind of sense…like…um? Oh shit, now Im rambling.” He put his face into his hands and cursed himself. I rubbed his back and only giggled.
“I know what you mean, Chris.”
He shook his head. “No, you dont.”
I stopped and looked over him. He had an unsure, hurt look on his face and I could tell I was in for it. Had I done something wrong?
“Then what’s wrong?” I asked. He faced me and I saw pain in his eyes.
“Did I ever tell you the story on how I lost my virginity?”
I stopped rubbing him again and blinked. I didn’t know Chris ever had a virginity. I shook my head.
“Well, it was freshman year. I snuck out and went to this bar. By myself, cus I’m an idiot. Anyway, when I got there, I saw this little blonde who looked about 18 in this little green top. She was bad as hell so I approached her. I told her I was 18 so she’d keep interest and before I knew it, we began talking dirty. I didn’t have any intention of sexing her that night but somehow I ended up back in her apartment. Next thing I know, she’s giving me a blowjob and lemme tell you…best feeling I’ve ever felt in the world.”
He smirked but I nudged for him to continue.
“And then when I actually was inside her…I swear I started crying because it felt so good. Gia, the night I lost my virginity was when I turned vulnerable.”
I frowned and squeezed him.
“Gia, I told her I loved her. I don’t know why but I did. And you know what she did? She laughed in my face and said, “Oh, I love you too, Cameron.” He slumped and I tried to relate to where he was coming from. But I couldn’t.
“So every since then I’ve been addicted and I can’t get enough. I was always concerned on where I could get some next and it was the only thing on my mind. 24/7.”
I thought and put the pieces together. “So because you lost your virginity to someone you didnt love, you’ve just lost all respect and value for it?” I wondered.
He nodded. “Maybe.”
As we held each other tighter, I had the final piece of the puzzle. Chris was a sex addict because he didn’t see the true value in it. He had only known hookups and one night stands. Until now.
I felt special.
I was the the first girl Chris has ever had sex with. Real, raw, passionate, loving sex.
This conclusion could be attributed to the fact that I was sleepy and was slightly delusional but I didn’t have to worry till morning. I fell asleep quickly afterwards with thoughts of him and I on my mind.
It wasn’t till I awoke and found myself alone did I realize last night wasn’t real, raw or passionate. It was just some silly booty call.
The side Chris slept on was empty with just his sheets there instead of him. The spot was warm and his pillow had drool on it. I rolled my eyes and prepared myself for the mental scaring I had set myself up for. Nice going, Hernandez. You set yourself up for heartbreak. I wondered where in the hell he could’ve gone. The least he could’ve done was carry me back to my house.
Pissed to the point of nearly crying, I slowly brushed the sheets aside to look for my clothes.
My pelvis was sore and I felt slightly numb from the waist down. My inner thighs hurt as well.
I found my bra at the foot of the bed and I pulled it on before I noticed a stain on the sheets. The stain wasn’t too big and it was dark red, almost brown. I knew what it was and I sighed. I bit my lip. I let him have his way with me and after I thought he’s changed, he leaves. I know he wasn’t my boyfriend but he was something. He had seen me at my weakest and he still had the balls to just go off and not even have the courtesy to wake me?
The tear fell and I wiped it away vigorously afraid for even my shame to see me cry.
I managed to pull my underwear and socks on before the door screeched open and Chris stood there, wearing a pair of boxers and a huge grin. I wiped the tear away as fast as possible.
“Chris…” I said.
“How do you feel?” he asked.
I thought hard before I answered. “Empty.”
“Oh, youre hungry? Cus I got-“
“No, not that kind of empty. Like, I woke up and you were gone. One minute you were in, next you were out. I felt-“
“Abandoned? After a night like that, G, I think leaving is the last thing I’m gonna do.”
We were silent for a minute until his digital clock numbers flashed the time.
“Shit, it’s almost ten. Come on, Chris. We gotta get to school.” I pulled my jeans up and he rolled his eyes in amusement as he watched me. He stopped me and had his fingers through my belt loop holes and my hands melted.
“Why don’t we take a day off? The two of us?”
My eyes widened. “Chris, I cant skip school. I-“
“You work your ass off all week for these idiots society tries to pass off as teachers. And for what? A silly, little grade on a sheet of paper. Besides, it’s Friday. Why not have a three day weekend?” he intertwined his fingers with mine.
“What if I get in trouble?” I asked.
He rolled his eyes and laughed at my cautiousness. “Getting in trouble would be the least of your worries when you’re skipping with a pro.”
“But I’ve never skipped before.” I pleaded with him. I would use any excuse in the book to convince him to not skip or at least not drag me along.
“Yeah and you had never given a blow job before but you did fantastic!”
I blushed. “What about my mom?”
“Your mom left for work hours ago. She thinks you’re at school.”
“What about your dad?”
“He’s at his girlfriend’s house.”
I sighed in defeat when he began to kiss my temple. “Please, Gigi?”
Groaning reluctantly and nodding, I gave in. “Fine…I’ll skip with you.”
“Oh thank you, Gia!” He pecked my lips and I tasted the toothpaste. “You’re gonna have so much fun! I promise,” he gushed and kissed my lips again.
I smiled and kissed him back. Maybe this would be fun.
It was about time I took a walk on the wild side.
7: How Do I Make You Feel?
Listening to Chris talk about feelings was like listening to an owl rap Eminem.
I turned my body all the way around and he sat down again.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
He sighed and tried not to meet my eyes. He was nervous.
“Let’s pretend I never did what I did with Mrs. Tran, okay?”
I tried to but just the mention of it made a hard lump form in my throat. I swallowed and said, “Okay.”
“How would you feel about me? Or how do I make you feel?” he asked with complete concern.
I tried to get an honest answer. How did I feel about Chris? Man-whore, boy next door, teacher fucking Chris. He was hot as hell but other than physical attraction, Chris was just Chris.
But he looked so sensitive and vulnerable as if my answer was gonna get him through the rest of the day.
“Why do you ask?” I said, trying to stall for time.
He shrugged. “Lately all Nessie ever wants to talk about is feelings.” He rolled his eyes. “I guess it’s kinda rubbed off on me.”
“Oh,” I tried to search hard for an honest answer. His face was so innocent and sincere with his huge brown, nearly black eyes. I didnt wanna hurt his feelings.
“Um, ugh…You make me feel like a-” I couldnt even finish because I couldnt think of a straight answer. I just shut my mouth and shook my head.
He looked down disappointed and sighed. “Okay,” he said and began to get up. Until he had bounced off my bed, I hadnt realized how closes are faces were a few seconds ago. He reached around me, grabbed his science book and waved goodbye before leaving with a sad look on his face.
Watching him go left my chest pumping up and down, as if my heart was gonna beat right out of my rib cage. I tugged my stomach and groaned.
I didnt hate him so much anymore. In fact, I think I was starting to feel the exact opposite.
Monday mornings were the worst. I hated them a little bit more than Saturdays, but hey. Who didnt hate Mondays?
Waking up was hard since I had awoken from a blissful dream where I saw Jinsu on my left and Chris on my right. I dont read too much into dreams but this one made me think. I had officially opened my eyes at five o’ clock on the dot, but didnt get out of bed till five-twenty. I watched the sun rise from out my window. Cheesy, I know but it was truly beautiful.
I growled my way out of bed into the bathroom to shower and brush my teeth. My hair waved up as I stepped from the shower and I didnt have the strength to straighten it again, so I let it be.
My mom offered to drive me to school but I declined and kissed Romeo goodbye before they left. I buttoned my jeans up and gathered my things together then waited for Jinsu to pull up. Since I had some spare time, I looked over at Chris house only to see that his car was gone and his blinds were closed. Had I upset him that much for him to just leave without a good morning?
I thought hard about him until I heard Jinsu’s horn honk. I took my time going downstairs and climbing into his car. Still feeling guilty and wrong about kissing Chris twice, I barely said good morning. Chris fucked his girlfiend’s mom and he could talk to her with ease. I simply tongued him and now I cant even look Jinsu in the eye! How fucked up is that? When we arrived at school, I felt relieved to be out of the same car as the boy whose heart I was secretly breaking.
The day flew by.
Until last period.
Chris wasnt in my class but it was still interesting to see Mrs. Tran act so giddy. She has a glassy look in her hazel eyes and her pale skin was practically sparkling. She even walked with a wobble. Chris had fucked her three days before and she was still in afterglow? Damn, Chris worked hard for his A.
When I was presented with my test, I could barely concentrate. The only thing on my mind was that stupid grin Mrs. Tran had planted on her face and Chris kissing me. His question about feelings was starting to burn a little and I was sure I failed the test. By the time the dismissal bell rung, I was so mind-fucked I could barely remember my locker combo. I didnt know why I was so out of it. I hadnt seen Chris at all today and I did my best to avoid Jinsu. Maybe he was absent because he was in at least two of my classes and I usually passed him a few times in the hallway.
Jinsu waited patiently by his car as I made my way over to him with zombie like movements.
“Hey, G.” He greeted me and wrapped his arms around my waist before pulling me in and kissing me. I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed my lips more to his to try and find the spark me and Jinsu felt when we kissed. He giggled and backed away.
“Well, I missed you too.” He said. No spark. Just his lips to mine. I sighed disappointed as I climbed into his car and he began to drive me home. As Jinsu told me all about his day, I tried to listen. My mind was in another place. The only thing on my mind was Chris and that stupid ass test. The ride seemed to drag but thank goodness he dropped me off within a good ten minutes. I “kissed” him goodbye and went his car pulled away, I rushed into my house to set my backpack down.
I rushed back over to Chris’ and knocked on his door. If I didnt see him again, I felt as if this stupidity would end. I expected Charles, Chris’ dad, to answer but instead Chris, with sleep in his eyes did. I gasped when I saw his sloppy appearance and he only rolled his eyes.
“What do you want?”
I scrunched my face up and back away. “I wanted to talk.” I said innocently. He eased up and sighed.
“Come in.” he pulled me in and his actions took me by surprise. When he shut the door, he pressed himself against it and looked me over. “Talk,” he said simply.
I found his tone demanding. “Where were you today?”
He cringed. “Here.”
“Are you sick?” I asked.
He shook his head. I looked at him confused.
“I didnt wanna face Mrs. Tran. Of course, she’ll act like nothing happened and treat me like the piece of shit she thinks I am.”
Seeing Chris expose his true feelings was startling. “I doubt it. She was all wobbly and couldnt even stand straight. She was giggly as hell.” I informed him. He almost smiled but it didnt last long.
“Does Charles know you skipped?”
“No. He went out this morning.”
I stayed there and couldnt find anything else to say. He seemed too upset to talk to. I sighed and began to walk away to leave. When I tried to pass him, my whole arm rushed with warmth. As I edged closer his body scooted away and the sudden heat disappeared. My heart picked up and I suddenly felt goosebumps. Every little muscle on my body went into hyper mode and I had courses of adrenaline going through my veins. My blood boiled a little but not out of anger. But out of…
I couldnt even describe it. I looked at him and he was looking straight ahead. He seemed to be getting angry and his fists were balled viciously to the point of where his knuckles were white. I turned the knob to open the door but suddenly the door was shut in front of me and I felt the strong force of Chris’ face to mine. Next thing I knew, he had his tongue in my mouth. I didnt object this time.
I let his hands roam all over my arms, torso and ass. I wanted him to grope me in the hungry, uncivilized way he was. Moaning for more, I hadnt even realized he picked me up and was carrying me to his bedroom.
When Chris kicked open his door, an old 50 Cent album was playing and I began to grind on him as the bass dropped. He threw me down on his messy bed and he was over me in seconds, his lips to mine. I had my hands going for his gym shorts, as if I knew what I were doing.
He suddenly stopped me and grabbed my hands. Chris’ lips were gone and all the sparks were gone. He lifted himself and sat at the edge of the bed. I just lay there on my back, like an idiot, and stared at the ceiling in disbelief.
It’s happened again. And this time it was my fault.
“Oh, G…”he sighed and put his face in his hands. I know I havent truly made out in a while but was I that bad? Disappointed, I sat up and nudged his rug with my shoe.
“Sorry,” I said and ran a hand through my still damp hair. He noticed and looked over.
“You curled your hair.” He noted. I nodded.
“It’s actually waved.” I corrected him with a smart-ass smirk. He lightly chuckled and looked out his window.
“God, what are we doing G?” It was weird hearing him call me “G.” I think he gave me that nickname. I never called him “Breezy.”
“I dont know. I guess we got a little…carried away?” I suggested and he nodded in agreement. He groaned and then said, “I cant believe I just took you to my room,” with such regret and somber. My heart dropped. So he could fuck ugly, STD infested whores on the daily but the girl-next-door wasnt good enough for him?
“Im sorry.” I apologized again.
He picked up on how bad he made me sound and turned to me with an equally apologetic look on his face. “Oh, God! Gia, I didnt mean it like that-“
“I mean I would if-“
“Just forget it.” I pleaded for him to stop trying to explain himself but he kept going.
“N-no, I mean I really would, Gia. I mean you’re j-just s-so pretty, I mean I-” He stuttered over his words. I stopped him with another peck and he blushed hard.
“Chris, it’s fine.”
He fake smiled and looked through his window, into my room. It made me think hard. If I saw him, he definitely saw me. What if I accidentally left my window open and he was home? He couldve easily seen me getting undressed or even worse, dancing to my new Rihanna album!
I cringed and poked his shoulder. He didnt turn to look away.
“How do I make you feel?” He asked for the third time. I didnt even think about it like last time. This time, I let the words fly out of my mouth.
Chris turned to me and scrunched his eyebrows. “Hot?” I didnt even meet his eyes when I nodded.
“Hot.” I said again.
Chris suddenly got up from his bed and turned his music down. “Gia, do you think it’s possible to began to have feelings for someone who’s been under your nose for years but you never realized it till two days ago?”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I asked him, trying to understand him clearly.
He shook his head. “Nevermind…just, ugh…forget it.” He said.
It was hard to read him when he was acting so strange. Honestly, all I wanted to do was kiss him again. But what wouldve happened if we hadnt stopped? Would I have really lost my virginity to Chris Brown after a long day at school on just his dirty bed?
Obviously, he had to stop. He knew it was wrong as did I. He had Karrueche. I had Jinsu. But the way I see it, why have gentle Jinsu when youve got hard experienced Chris? It’s not that I didnt love Jin…I just wanted Chris.
And judging by how he grabbed me a few minutes ago, he wanted me too. His resistance was futile at this point.
I went home with him on my mind and I felt dirty the whole way there. Even if it was only a few feet.
The rest of the week flew by. Tuesday was a struggle, Wednesday was a little bit better.
It was Thursday now and Jinsu was growing suspicious of Chris and I. He wondered why we suddenly starting talking more and I told him I was just tutoring Chris. He found that believable considering he also thought Chris had an idiot like way about him. Now that Ive seen what Chris is capable of, I feel in some way that idiot way about him was just a persona. I was starting to believe he didnt need tutoring as much as he thought he did. I know he was with Kae and one of my conditions was for him to stay true to her, but I couldnt help but think how far we wouldve gotten on Monday.
As Chris highlighted in his book, I stared at him. There was no doubt as to why Karrueche wanted Chris to-
Wait…Jin…Jin. Think of Jinsu.
I began to mentally mutter Jinsu’s name in my head. Till Chris looked over at me confused I hadnt realized that I was saying his name aloud. He looked at me confused before going back to highlighting his notes. I tried to concentrate and wondered where this sudden attraction to Chris came from.
A good five minutes later, Chris poked my bare foot with his pencil. I flinched as the dull point dented the bottom of my foot. It tickled.
“Do your work,” I told him and smiled.
“Can I do you instead?”
My ears got hot as I continued to read the textbook with a huge smile on my face.
He noticed and grinned as well before going back to reading more.
Another few minutes went by with silence until he poked my foot again. I tapped his cheek with my toes. He giggled then lightly bit the big toe lightly. It tickled more than the pencil and I wondered why Jinsu and I never did this.
He kissed my foot and it felt good. He stopped and looked at me with hard eyes.
“Why do you wear makeup?” He asked randomly.
It was irrelevant but I was wearing makeup. That is if you call eyeliner and some lip gloss makeup. I shrugged.
“‘Cus I wanna look pretty.”
“But you already are pretty.”
“I wanna look pretty for my boyfriend,” I replied with a half smile.
“Jinsu doesnt think your pretty without makeup?”
“He does. I just wear it ‘cus I think that’s what he wants. I think he thinks I look best this way.”
“Why do you care what Jinsu thinks?” he asked. He was starting to get annoying.
“Because he’s my boyfriend,” I answered.
He paused. “Can I be your boyfriend?”
I picked up his joking tone and then flicked his ear with my pencil. “Get back to work.” He licked his lips and got up to reach my face.
Chris Brown was turning me on. Who knew that in such a world I would get sexually aroused just by being in his presence? Who knew the Earth, sun and moon could align so perfectly that my body would intervene with the heat and feel so fired up?
As Chris looked into my eye and placed his lips on my neck, I knew that today was the day.
“Chris, do you even know how worried I was?”
“Im sorry, Karrueche.”
“You’re always sorry but you never mean it! Chris, I swear sometimes I wonder why I’m with you,” Kae huffed.
“Because youve got a reputation to keep up, remember?”
“Is that why you think Im with you? I love you for you but you’re making it really hard to do that if all we ever do is fight.”
“I don’t wanna fight anymore, Kae.”
“Neither do I.”
There was a long pause. I assumed they were hugging it out or kissing.
“No more fighting, okay?” Nessie said in an innocent, angelic voice.
“No more fighting. I promise.”
I heard them kiss and winced a little.
“You ready?” He asked.
“Yeah, let’s go.” She responded.
There was a door slam and moments later, there was an engine starting.
I yawned happily as I heard the noise of his car go down the road.
Today was Sunday and my mom and Justin probably already went out for Sunday brunch. They usually left me at home, which was nice. I normally would’ve invited Jinsu over but right now it was hard to look at him considering the fact that I made out with Chris. It was technically cheating, yes, but I was the victim. He kissed me.
It wasnt that I didnt like the kiss. I just didnt wanna feel guilty about it.
I liked girls.
All kinds of girls.
I especially loved girls who wore tiny gym shorts and training bras while jumping around all over each other. To be perfectly honest, I was the only player from the team whose girlfriend dragged him along for cheerleading practice. It was so awkward for me to be watching my teammate’s girlfriends jump and flip around in tight little outfits. Especially if Karrueche is one of them. I get how she came to see me practice but I doubt it was a double standard.
It was extra awkward because I think I had slept with at least half of them. Kae knew that but she still insisted I come.
I didn’t wanna be here even though watching these girls twerk themselves was kind of entertaining. Right now I’d rather be at home, asleep or at least getting tutored by Gia.
The classic girl next door.
The neighborhood beauty.
I didnt care if she had a boyfriend and I had a girlfriend; Gia was fucking cute.
What I would give to see her in a tiny, cheerleading outfit. I smiled and shook my head at my sex drive and tried to pay attention.
As someone called that they do the routine again, I only groaned with frustration and threw my head back in aggravation. I swear if I had to stay another minute…
I guess, in a way this was my punishment. The only reason I havent left yet is because I knew I had to stay.
Kae meant a lot to me but I was wishing she hadnt dragged me along to her two hour cheerleading practice.
Mom and Justin still werent home.
I was growing a little bit lonely. Jinsu had called and asked if I wanted company but I told him I was good by myself. My head felt good against the pillow as I stared at the ceiling.
Friday, I saw Chris fucking our science teacher.
Now by Sunday, we had kissed and I was apparently teaching him science.
Things were fucked up now. How was I supposed to be around Chris without Jinsu getting suspicious? I doubt I could spend my afternoons with Chris around and stay true to Jinsu.
I growled a little as I paced around my room, trying to find ways to occupy myself. I heard Chris car come up the road. Suddenly, bolts of electricity went through my legs causing me to look out my window. When Chris came into view, I opened my window and yelled out.
He looked at me and a smile spread across his face. He waved.
“Come over. Bring your science book!” I yelled down at him and he nodded. He jogged into his house and I hopped off the window seal.
I skipped to the bathroom and frantically brushed my teeth and hair, then stopped mid-brush.
I went back into my room, my breath minty and fresh.
“Hello, Hernandez,” he greeted.
“Brown,” I replied and tossed the book around in my hands. “You ready?” He thought for a minute, entered my kitchen and came out with a piece of pizza hanging out of his mouth. I wasnt shocked.
“Now Im ready,” he said after gulping down the crust.
I rolled my eyes and hopped up the steps with easy weight. He shut the door behind us. He looked around my room as if he’d never entered it before now.
“What?” I disturbed his thought as I grabbed my own science book off my dresser.
Chris wasnt as stupid as he seemed.
After forty-five minutes, I realized he did know most of the things I was teaching him but he gets easily distracted. And he had so many irrelevant questions it was driving me crazy!
“Why do girls straighten their hair?” He asked when he saw my hair straightener wrapped in the cord on my dresser.
“Who shot 2pac?” He wondered when I started humming “California Love” between transitions.
“So does Lady Gaga have both parts or what?” He questioned when he noticed the huge poster behind my bed.
I wanted to slap him for asking that last one but I didnt. I simply rolled my eyes and hoped he would focus.
“Chris, let’s try this again. Energy is-” I stopped and he opened his mouth uncertainly.
“Energy is…” he rummaged through his book but I snatched them from him.
“Without your book.”
He rolled his eyes and looked up in the way people do when they think.
“Energy is the ability to do work…”
He looked cute when he thought hard.
“…and the units of energy are joules…”
He thought harder and bit his lip. “Ergs?” he said and I wrapped my arms around his neck.
“Oh, you got it! Good job!” I cheered and he hugged me back. Finally after eighteen fucking years, this shit gets through to him. He held tighter and as I reached back, somehow he had my pink lips locked in a kiss and his fingers running through my hair.
Without thinking, I urged him on by slipping my tongue into his mouth and he responded with his left hand touching my back lightly.
I slipped away from him and sat on my bed. I didnt face him, too ashamed. He sighed and he face palmed himself.
He grabbed his science book from the bed and took one last look at me before he turned to leave.
Chris swerved on his heels and I didn’t turn to face him.
“Gia,” he began.
“What?” I answered sternly before I lost my mind and hopped on him like some harlet.
“Um, how do I make you feel?” He asked.
I turned to face him. He was serious.
5: Two Conditions
After at least twenty minutes of trying to pry Jinsu off of the dance floor, we were on our way home.
I looked blankly out the window the whole time while Jin was going on and on about how his fifteen minutes of fame were. I tried to listen but instead but he was just noise to me right now.
It was eleven or so when we pulled in; I was a few minutes passed curfew. Chris’ bedroom light was on. He was home.
“Well, did you have fun?” he asked me when he killed the ignition. I turned to look at him but didnt answer.
He took that as a “no,” so he rubbed my hair and kissed my forehead. “Im sorry.”
“Yeah, me too.” I sighed and began to open my door, ready for some sleep. Jin stopped me by locking it and I looked at him, confused. He puckered his lips in the goofy way he knew I loved. I couldnt help but giggled a little and I kissed him goodnight.
“‘Night, baby.” I said and opened my door.
I opened the door after he unlocked it and made my way towards my front door. I twisted the key in the lock and waved at Jinsu one last time before I entered the house. The first thing I noticed was the smell of my mother’s cooking. I missed dinner.
Sofia was asleep on the couch with a blanket barely around TV screen was showing ending credits to a DVD she was watching and the backround music was blasting. I turned it off and fixed the blanket around my mom.
“Mom…Im home.” I whispered.
She didnt stir. Her breathing was soft so I kissed her on the forehead.
I jogged up the stairs and before I went to my room, I poked my head in on Blake. His eyes were glued to the TV screen where he was watching Spongebob, on the season 5 DVD I got him for his birthday. He hadnt even noticed I walked in. I shut his door lightly and bust through my own door and plopped onto my bed.
What a long night, my body was saying. I agreed by removing my shoes and taking off my jacket.
Temptation made me look out my window to see if I saw Chris. His window was closed and his blinds were down. I rolled my eyes and removed my jeans, leaving me in just Jinsu’s jersey. I was just about to drift to sleep till I heard the sound of blinds being rustled around. Then I heard a “Psst, Gia!”
I sat up in bed. “Psst, Gia! I know you’re home.”
I sneered and sat down at my desk that face the window. “Hi,” I said simply, trying to look at him.
He rolled his eyes. “Gia. Im sorry-” he started. I put my hand up to stop him.
“Why should you be sorry? You’re right. It’s none of my business.” He had a hell of a lot to be sorry for. It was quite the shock to hear him apologize, though. The only time Ive ever heard him apologize is when he was being a smart-ass or he was forced to.
“But I feel like such a ass anyway,” he said and his words fell before they could even reach my window. A ass? He was passed being a ass.
“It’s cus you are,” I growled back at him, still very angry. He could tell he wasnt making any progress so he shook his head in defeat.
“Jesus, G. I try to be nice to you but you still find a way to act like such a bitch.”
When he said that I wanted to rip his body apart. Limb from limb, right down to the bone. I was being a bitch? Me? What the hell did Karrueche see in him? He was the most insensitive, selfish bastard I have ever met. I hate him! I really do hate him!
I tried not to yell so I slammed my window shut and I heard him groan. Before I closed the curtains I saw his lips move and he must’ve been talking to himself because I damn sure wasnt listening.
After plopping down on my bed with my face in my pillow, I screamed at the top of my lungs.
I hated Chris Brown…so fucking much.
I loved to sleep. I loved to sleep more than anything in the world. More than kissing Jinsu or eating.
But it kinda sucks when you’re in the middle of dreaming and all of a sudden, you’ve got to pee. I reluctantly hopped out of bed and used the bathroom, trying to go as fast as possible. I heard once that if you awake in the middle of a dream and youre quick enough, you can get the dream back where you left off.
So I literally sprinted from the bathroom back to my room. I groaned when I couldnt get my eyes to droop. Shit…
I sat up in bed and frowned as I wiped my eyes off any crust.
“Ugh..fuck my life.” I whispered and my bed rocked a little. I stopped to look around and tried to stay perfectly still. My breathing was slow and I felt someone else’s presence.
I heard someone else’s breathing. I held myself till the lights flickered on and I saw Chris lingering by my door.
I screamed for a second till he covered my mouth and shhh’ed me.
“Sshh, Gia. I came here to talk to you.” he was saying and I tried to pry him off of me. I began hitting him and he let me go. I’ve never felt more invaded in my life. Was this kid ever gonna quit it?
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I screamed and he covered my mouth again. His facial expression was frantic and panicked as I struggled to yell.
“If I let you go, will you promise not to scream?”
I stopped fidgeting and looked him straight in the eye. He was trying to calm himself and me. Maybe he had good intentions this time.
“Thank you,” he said and relaxed a little. My heart raced slowed down as he began to speak.
“What do you want? How did you get in?” I wanted to ask but he genuinely looked sincere at this moment.
“Im sorry I called you a bitch, okay? And Im sorry I threatened to tell everyone you’re a virgin. That was low. I just really need a favor, this time.”
A favor. I thought about the possible things he could ask from me.
“What kind of favor?” I asked, afraid of the answer.
“Well…youre an almost straight A student right? Well, I, ugh… I was wondering…”
“Could you tutor me in…ugh..science?” He seemed embarrassed to ask.
Shock took over me and I shivered a little. I was failing science but it wasnt cus I didnt know any of the material. I knew exactly what was going on it’s just I never did my homework which brought down my grade. I tried to steal the test answers because I thought of it as the easy way out. I could tutor Chris.
“Before you answer, keep in mind I do feel guilty about fucking Mrs. Tran and I wanna make it right. I cant do anything about that test on Monday, but I wanna start making things fair. I dont know the first thing about the galaxies or global warming or whatever but I know you do. Gia, please. Im not ashamed to beg you. I really dont wanna do things like this, okay?”
He seemed really desperate. I know I said I hated him but he seemed so apologetic and fragile. Chris had apologized to me about calling me a bitch. I didnt wanna say no and prove his point. I knew what he has done has made him on my watch list but at least he was making an attempt to fix things. And if he didnt cooperate, I could easily cut him off. His grade was in my hands!
He smiled. “Are you saying yes?”
I nodded again. “Yes.”
His dull face brightened and his arms were around me in an instant. “Oh, G! You wont regret this! Thank you so fucking much! I wont let you down, I swear! Oh Gia, I-“
“Sshh, keep your voice down. My mom and Blake are asleep,” I whispered to him but he still had a wide grin on his face.
“Gia, I cant even tell you how grateful I am.”
“I have one condition though. You cant cheat on Kae anymore, ok? And you cant tell anybody Im a virgin.”
“That’s two conditions,” he said, jokingly. I looked at him seriously and groaned.
“Chris, I mean it.”
“I do, too.” he said, trying to wipe the smile of his face. He got up to leave but I stopped him. “Shake on it?” I put my hand out. He looked at it with a look of wonder and smiled. Chris grasped my hand forcefully and pulled me in. My lips met his with such a strong force, his tongue entered my mouth.
Chris began to shake my hand as my other hand pressed against his stomach. He moaned lightly into my mouth and my ears, neck and cheeks got hot and flushed. You know how in movies when girls kiss someone, their leg kinda pops up?
Yeah, well I felt really weird when I found my right leg going midair and my toes curling.
I stepped away from him and he had a huge, shit-eating grin planted firmly on his face. I wanted to smack it off but I didnt.
“Now, it’s official.” He stated and before I could speak, he was walking over to my window. He crept around my desk and jumped, free falling, out my open window. I rushed over to see if he landed and all I saw was the dark sky and the stars.
Then after a few moments, I heard his car’s engine start.
Figures. A boy like him had to have something to do at three o’ clock in the morning.
I shut my window and sat down at my desk, trying to go over what happened in the last few minutes.
I agreed to tutor Chris Brown.
Then I kissed him.
What the hell have I gotten myself into?
When I woke up, there was drool all across my cheek and desk.
Fuck, I fell asleep at my desk. Now my head hurts.
I stretched and my neck was sore. I groaned aloud and without even thinking, I threw my body full forced on my bed. It squeaked in protest but I didnt care.
I just needed my beauty sleep.
Without any disturbances, I began to drift back to sleep. My whole body was tense and it hurt from being crouched over on the hard, wooden desk.
Easy like a Sunday morning did not apply here.